Never White
by CamillaCornflower
Summary: Hormones, traumas and Schu - 6 part story posted in one piece


NEVER WHITE  
  
By Cornflower  
  
Prologue:  
  
In the beginning:  
  
Crushed. There was nothing but blood. Broken bones that stood out from the raw, glistening meat in awkward angles. Fabric glued to pale skin. All of it red, drenched and soaked in it, and so his hands.  
  
Of what had once been a man there was nothing left but shreds. Form had ceased to be. Now there was pounds of flesh, ounces of tissue - gallons of blood, - that was all.  
  
Dark strands of hair plastered to a naked skull, bone shining through. The brain is actually grey...and liquid.  
  
"A little eager there, weren't we, Naoe?" A hand came to pat his head. "Don't worry, we'll work on it..."  
  
The man that spoke smoothed the fabric of his grey suit, fingers ran down a black tie. The daylight that poured in the windows, small squares set high in the brick wall of the abandoned factory, caught and shone in elegant glasses. Even, soft footfalls on the cemented floor as the man turned and left.  
  
Left Nagi on his own. With the bloodied corpse. Kneeling in front of it, the knees of his pants soaked in deep red moist. His eyes saw. And yet did not.  
  
He felt him before he heard him. The air thickened, a draft of something; unnatural air. Something thick and crowded, a sudden taste of sweetness surrounding him. The door fell shut. Silence...  
  
A low chuckle pierced the air:  
  
* Oh my, haven't you made a mess, kid...?* The voice spoke directly in his head.  
  
" Go away! - Oh no, oh no...don't leave me alone...!*  
  
Another chuckle.  
  
The air twitched and swirled around his body. Probing fingers of nothingness. Schuldich's energy touched him.  
  
* You taste lovely, little boy...all messed up and scared. Yes, you're a impressive creature indeed*  
  
* I killed him...*  
  
* Sure did!* Another soft chuckle from the man behind him.  
  
The boy lifted his hand, gazed at the palm.  
  
* It tells your future you know,* the slick voice told him. *And it's all red!*  
  
* Shut up!*  
  
* Why...when you're so good at it...- painting your hands red...*  
  
* ...No...*  
  
* But don't you like it?! You have it in you...Crawford is pleased, although it's sort of messy. Next time you'll do a cleaner job.*  
  
*..I don't want to...*  
  
Silence. Even the air froze around them.  
  
* But it's too late now! You'll never be clean again. It can't be undone, never be white!*  
  
*...White?*  
  
*...Tainted and stained, black holes in your soul...the sin will fasten, fester... -*  
  
* -Why are you saying this?! -Tormenting me!*  
  
* Because I like you, kid. That's why...*  
  
Long arms came to touch him, scooped him from the floor. Held his bloodied body to a green coat. A pounding heart.  
  
Schuldich carried him outside.  
  
I.  
  
Later:  
  
Slices of cheese, mouthfuls of wine. The deep red kind. Schuldich's kind, with blue black grapes and peaches to go with it. It was late night in Schwartz current quarters. The deep blue velvety sky outside the big windows in Schuldich's spacious room was set with tiny points of golden light. The windows had no curtains, letting the sky come in and fill the room. Like being on the inside of a jewelry box, Schuldich thought as his multicolored candles reflected on the smooth, crystalline surfaces...or inside someone's head...Or more obviously; the space room, only...this space held no walls. Neither did people's minds, not really...  
  
He played with a peach stone in his hand, noticed how it looked like a human brain and crushed it in his palm, sorted out the softer white kernel in the middle, the giant bitter seed and ate it. Swallowed it down with crimson wine, rich and ripe.  
  
Two steps up from the comfortable couch he was resting on was his bed. Big and soft, heaps of pillows; white, clean sheets...still not tempting. Not tonight, when he was busy not thinking of what he was thinking about.  
  
By eating, he told himself, digesting, taking what he wanted, like he always did. His favorite tastes mingled on his tongue...yet there was one flavor he still hadn't tried...still hadn't dared to grab. Take. Have...Didn't know if he ever would...And his bed looked cold; not tempting at all...  
  
He sighed softly as the small, sharp knife sliced into the cheese once more, cut free one big chunk of creamy flavor. His glass was made of crystal, his robe was tailored silk, deep blue, made his hair look good, and his eyes...They had been lucky with the accommodations as well this time. He lived a happy life, he reminded himself. He was rich, privileged...possessed powers most people would envy, now that they were tamed and controlled by his mind, and didn't send him into fits of fury and occasional madness anymore...He shouldn't allow people...events to effect him so...but he did, he admitted to himself with another sigh. Gritted his teeth and ate.  
  
The tip of the knife slowly trailed the soft skin of the peach in his hand. One didn't need much imagination to see the resemblance...And the hip that had stroked against his crotch, the seemingly innocent look on the chibi's face...the scent of arousal and the feel of something hard brushing against him moments later...Did the kid do all this on purpose? Although, the state of the 'kid's' arousal had told him clearly that this was no 'kid' anymore. This was a full grown man...and why did the thought of this young man's desire make his stomach twitch as in fear or expectation. Sure...he'd been looking at his ass but who wouldn't? It was a nice ass. Firm, round buttocks. His skin was creamy white, eyes dark blue, surrounded by silky, black lashes. Yes...the boy was a vision...Schuldich caressed his cheek with the soft fruit, crossed his legs on the couch.  
  
But the boy was smart as well, he continued his musings and poured some more wine ...more clever than any of them...and - Schuldich's thoughts paused for a while. It wasn't fear...couldn't be...not for Nagi. A low chuckle escaped his lips and he suddenly threw the peach back in the basket. The damn fruit and the thoughts of Nagi's lithe, strong body had not only created a remarkable blush in his face but a impressive erection as well. One that steadily pounded and ached between his thighs.  
  
For *Nagi*, he marveled and shook his head. The closest to a little, annoying brother he had ever had. For the boy *was* annoying. Sitting there with his "I know best look", slaying every fun suggestion, reminding them of their purpose and direction...Hell, the boy didn't know how to have fun, he thought with a shrug.  
  
Nagi was cold, - cool mint. Cascades of cold water in an icy cave. There was no light, no warmth in there...Still...he *had* felt what he did when the boy brushed against him...  
  
So it had happened then, what he had been waiting for. Somehow he'd been anxious to see it; Nagi growing up... That lithe little body stretching, his face become more angled...his thoughts mature; become pretty, venomous apples dripping with juices. Different tastes, riper... That his newly awakened body would turn to Schuldich on the other hand was too ironic, to...messed up, twisted and perfect to be true. Perfect and gave him a Crawford-moment of foresight, not literarily of course, but close...a feeling of something cold. A brush of icy fingers. A need to go there even if his entire being screamed that he shouldn't. Tiny tendrils of fear. Like he was approaching something - a change. Something he couldn't completely control, which was unnerving. He *did* appreciate his control.  
  
* What are you thinking Nagi?...* His thoughts broke the tiny surface, just an illusion really, of his own mind and started wandering. He knew the distance was too long. There wasn't any way he could know. Figure him out. Still he had to feel if that, just maybe...some thoughts were sent in his direction from the boy's room down the hall.  
  
There wasn't.  
  
Not as far he could tell. Just a distant murmur of many voices, flashes and pangs of nightmares and regrets. He felt Farfarello's unfocused energy, spinning, turning...but nothing of Nagi's cool, smooth feel. It was a shame really. Schuldich cut off the stream and peeled a piece of peach. Let the thick, smooth peel tease his tongue. Sucked the juices from the clean peace of fruit. Soft and delicious, like young boys' lips. With a sigh he stretched his long, lean body and gave the bed a dark stare. He should try to get some sleep, even if the silent night held no comfort as such for him. He was about to sit up and snuff the candles when a sudden knock on the door surprised him. He was even more surprised when the subject of tonight's contemplations materialized in the open doorframe, wearing nothing but a black tank and a pair of soft looking pants in a sleek material, it gleamed almost like silver, catching in the light, molded against his body.  
  
" Nagi..?" he couldn't keep the feral sound completely out of his voice. He had a considerable erection with the boys name on it hidden under his robe after all. The boy just stood there, staring at the scene, blinked a few times.  
  
"Do you have someone here?" The boy said coolly.  
  
"No...why?" Schuldich was sincerely surprised.  
  
" The candles..the cheese..." Nagi motioned with his hand.  
  
" No..." Schuldich purred and leaned back. " It's just me," he smiled and played with the waist band of his pants. Posed with one arm casually breeched over his head. "Want to join me?" He smiled teasingly.  
  
The boy blushed. Schuldich smirked.  
  
" No," the teen rolled with his eyes before regaining composure. Cold clarity. "Of course not," he said dryly. " I was just wondering if you knew that Farfarello is loose tonight. I don't think that is wise, given his current condition."  
  
Schuldich sighed and slumped on the couch.  
  
" I didn't and I don't mind...Why don't you go to Brad with this?"  
  
" I can't find him," the boy gestured again.  
  
" Of course you can, he is sleeping down the hall."  
  
" He didn't answer..."  
  
"You *knocked*?"  
  
" I'm *polite*"  
  
" You're stupid..."  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"I do...now what do you *want* Nagi? "  
  
"...nothing..."  
  
"Then go...I'm tired, I need rest." And quite frankly the boy's presence was a bit disturbing.  
  
" Ok," hooded eyes, a sultry look, hungry towards the table. "I'm sorry I interrupted." Nagi's loneliness so seldom exposed, a deep, black void - sucking Schuldich's mind inside. Sucked him in and spat him out.  
  
"Nagi...are you flirting with me?" A purring warning in his mouth.  
  
" No. Of course not. Don't be silly!" Too fast, too obvious. Of course he was. Schuldich knew it then.  
  
* Nothing wrong with your tastes, little man...*  
  
" Stop it..."  
  
" Stop what?"  
  
"Saying things like that..."  
  
" Stop showing up at my room at night, wearing only your underwear..."  
  
" I am not..."  
  
"But you are!"  
  
" I didn't think..."  
  
"But you did," - *I'm not stupid*.  
  
*What do you think?*  
  
* You look lovely, Nagi, come give me a hug...*  
  
* Not a chance...*  
  
*But you want to...Why is your heart beating so fast?*  
  
*I'm scared,* "Because I'm angry...I'm annoyed - with you!"  
  
Schuldich rolled over on the couch. Landing on his stomach and stretching like a cat;  
  
" Stupid boy, don't you know I read minds...?"  
  
He was pale then, when Schuldich looked up. Pale, angry and uneasy.  
  
"Stop it!" *I can shield better than this...*  
  
" Maybe you don't want to..."  
  
"Stop..."  
  
"You shouldn't have come here...that's what you're thinking - and you're right..."  
  
* I have to get out of here!*  
  
" Run, Nagi, run..."  
  
" Or else?"  
  
"Maybe I'll bite you!"  
  
*God!* The boy was shocked.  
  
*You'd like that wouldn't you...*  
  
*You're like...my brother...!*  
  
*No I'm not!*  
  
*What do you want from me?*  
  
*What do *you* want, Nagi?*  
  
*Sex* - "Stop it!"  
  
"Stop leaking like a sieve! - You're loosing it Nagi, it's falling apart!"  
  
" You love that don't you?!" Horror and shame. Anger and frustration. Lust...  
  
" If you want a hard one up your ass, why don't you just say so?"  
  
" My god, you are disgusting!"  
  
" But you want it, right?"  
  
"Stop teasing me," cold scorn. * Would you give it to me?*  
  
*Who knows...*  
  
"Damn you Schuldich. You're scum..."  
  
* I think you like me...*  
  
" I don't!"  
  
* Tease!*  
  
The boy turned on his heels and the door slammed shut with a force no human strength could match. The candles went out all at the same time and Schuldich was left in darkness, to browse the ceiling and give another chuckle in the dark. The boy would certainly provide entertainment if he kept this up. What a show. What a unexpected lack of self-control... And what a lovely pair of buttocks that boy had - A taste of cherries on his tongue.  
  
*******************  
  
" Nagi called in sick, " Crawford's dry voice declared. Schuldich smiled slightly and studied the tip of his shoes. Called in sick, they *never* 'called in sick'. They lived in the same house for heaven's sake. Crawford knew it too and smiled.  
  
" It's just hormones," he said. "It'll pass..."  
  
" We have a teenager in the house," Farfarello said in a rare moment of clarity.  
  
" Bright boy," Schuldich arched his brows in appreciation.  
  
" However!" Crawford interrupted. " We need Nagi for this, we can't pull it off without him. We'll just have to wait till he feels more...stable."  
  
" But Nagi is *always* stable," Schuldich probed. H wanted to know how much Crawford knew about the situation so he guided his thoughts in that direction. Crawford, of course, knew absolutely nothing:  
  
* He said to leave him alone...what on earth does that mean...? My clever boy all angry and frustrated. Aggressive. I don't like aggressiveness. My sad, lovely Nagi all worked up...wonder what it means...it must be his age...*  
  
* It's hormones, Crawford, you said it yourself...*  
  
* What do you know, Schuldich...*  
  
*More than you think...* He smiled slightly, looked away. Told the American the conversation was over.  
  
He contemplated paying the sick a visit but changed his mind and settled for roses instead; the big, red kind...and a get well card scattered with fluffy, pink hearts. He didn't sign it but found the bouquet sans petals in front of his door only an hour after he'd had it delivered. The card however, had mysteriously vanished. Either combusted while read , or:  
  
"You're not keeping it under you pillow, are you, Naoe?" Schuldich smiled to himself while picking up the green, long stems. Hormones indeed...he would say...!  
  
The boy was funny! And doubtlessly on the edge. Tasted sweet like raspberries.  
  
"Do you like raspberries Farfarello?" He asked the man who glared over his shoulder while he threw the dissected flowers in the garbage can.  
  
"It's red." Farfarello answered.  
  
"You're right...red is good," Schuldich smiled. Raspberry flavored teenage angst even better...  
  
Only two days later, however, Crawford decided he'd had enough of hormonal fits and went to Nagi's room to have 'the talk'. Schuldich sat in the kitchen who also served as a meeting room and watched the stairs. Waiting for Crawford to come crashing down. He didn't. He did instead walk cautiously with one hand at the back of young Nagi Naoe's tender neck. Nagi looked pale and uncomfortable.  
  
* How did you manage that?* Schuldich asked surprised.  
  
*Reason...* Crawford replied casually." Get some soup, Nagi," he told the boy. *The stupid kid hasn't eaten in four days...*  
  
Schuldich felt kind of flattered. If this was what it was like to be subject of a teenage crush...that people would actually starve themselves for you...or rather, to avoid seeing you...That boy had serious problems!  
  
Had he ever tried to approach life with a little dash of irony?  
  
The stern, cold face in front of him, told him it was not likely...  
  
* Cheer up, Nagi!*  
  
No reply. Just a pair of dark eyes sending him angry, yet shy glares over the soup bowl.  
  
* I promise I wont bite!* He grinned widely, remembered their last conversation.  
  
A dark scowl, nothing more.  
  
* Hey! You were the one wandering into *my* room...*  
  
Still no response. Boring, that child. Boring but pretty. Even now, with a little salty drop of soup running down his chin.  
  
* Do you want me to lick that off?* He visualized the scene.  
  
Nagi looked him straight in the eyes while slowly lifting his hand, wiping the moistness from his skin.  
  
*********************'  
  
Something changed in Nagi Naoe when he was assigned on a mission. The boy always faded. What was left was clear ice. The silence of the bruised child, the insecurity of youth was gone. Left was one clever hell machine. A leader. A bright, sharp needle of pure thought. Focus. Maturity...  
  
Schuldich loved working with him.  
  
They entered the museum together. The dark, serious boy and the tall red- head in his bright, green coat. Schuldich caught a glimpse of them in the glass door and smiled. They looked good together...And despite the fact that Nagi hadn't said a word to him after he came out from his self-imposed exile, even the boy couldn't deny that when the two of them worked together they were a considerable force. Effective, brilliant...and it was damned fun as well. The perfect match, Schuldich thought to himself and smirked.  
  
* What's so funny?*  
  
*Talking again now, are we Naoe?*  
  
*Of course, we're working...*  
  
*It's nice to hear your voice!*  
  
* Wish I could say the same...*  
  
*Oh come on, you know you love me...*  
  
* Don't even go there, Schuldich...*  
  
*You know you want to...*  
  
* Shut up!*  
  
Schuldich laughed but let it go. No need to screw up a fun-fun mission over something like this.  
  
They walked down a office corridor and approached door by the end of the hall. Schuldich made sure he had the gun within range before he opened it and the two of them walked in.  
  
The fat man behind the desk looked up surprised. The secretary by his side, an anonymous, dark girl in a surprisingly feisty pink suit saw them as well...  
  
"You need an appointment..." the girl said.  
  
" The Abyssinian scrolls!" Schuldich demanded and looked the balding man in the eyes. "Where are they?"  
  
"That's classified information," the man began...  
  
"Well, thank you then," Schuldich smiled something he hoped was charming. "Come on Nagi, let's go..."  
  
"Sir...?" the secretary said to their backs. "Can I set up an appointment?"  
  
Schuldich turned in the door. He lifted his palm to the room and lowered his head slightly.  
  
"No...just forget it." He said.  
  
Schuldich and Nagi left.  
  
"So..where are they?" Nagi asked when they trotted back down the corridor.  
  
"In the basement, we need a elevator."  
  
"Did they have security cameras in the office?"  
  
"That's your job to know."  
  
"I'll check it later."  
  
"Here's our lift," Schuldich pressed the button. The elevator arrived with a humming sound, sliding doors parted.  
  
" You first my lovely," Schuldich smiled. He hadn't meant to say it, really. It just seemed so natural. Nagi scowled but entered the small space.  
  
Down in the basement they run into trouble. Small scale problems. A guard on his way from work:  
  
"What are you two doing here?" His voice sounded unnecessary loud in the narrow cemented corridor.  
  
Schuldich caught his gaze:  
  
"Nothing..." he said lowly.  
  
"Well, ok then..." the guard scratched his head and turned, headed for the stairs.  
  
"So, where?" Nagi said as they continued.  
  
" By the end of the corridor." The closeness of Nagi's body was a bit unsettling. The boy walked right in front of him. Firm ass moved under the tight fabric, his soft hair lay sleek against his neck. Those narrow shoulders. Schuldich got a sudden vision of...  
  
* Aren't you afraid to be alone with me in the basement, Nagi? Maybe I'd ravage you up against the wall? - But then again you'd like that wouldn't you?*  
  
*...I'd tear you apart, limb by limb...*  
  
* Sure you would...* Schuldich sniggered.  
  
*Can this wait?* The boy's serious face gave no emotions.  
  
* Sure...I can control my urges!*  
  
* So...you have the urge then?* Damn, the boy was clever!  
  
Schuldich laughed out loud. The sound filled the low space under the ceiling.  
  
" Here we are," he said at last and pointed out the door for Nagi.  
  
The locks opened with a clicking sound and the door swung open revealing a spacious room with several glass cases.  
  
"The floor is full of them" Schuldich leaned against the doorframe, referring to the ultra violet traps." It's the one to the far left," he told the boy and watched as the glass lid moved on top of the case while the ancient scrolls in their ornamented silver cases was lifted from the black velvet they'd been resting on by Nagi's always impressive powers.  
  
The scrolls flew slowly through the air, five of them in one go and ended up in Schuldich waiting arms.  
  
* Thank you, honey...*  
  
* Don't call me that...*  
  
* But you taste like it...*  
  
Nagi, preoccupied by motioning the lid back on didn't answer but when he had done the deed he grabbed two of the scrolls and started to walk fast back towards the elevator.  
  
* What's the rush..* he smelled of fear. * The job isn't done yet, no need to get all angsty...wait till we get back home...*  
  
An angry glare over the shoulder and Nagi continued down the hall.  
  
* Nice job, huh?* Schuldich changed the subject.  
  
* Yes,* the tension seeped away from the boy's back. " We did well," he said with contentment. He turned the corner by the elevator a moment before Schuldich did and leaned casually against the wall. Casually and...One knee bended, hips slightly pushed forward. His hair was a bit unruly, hooded eyes, lips moist and parted. Schuldich smiled. With a quick motion he balanced the scrolls in one arm and fished out a couple of bills from his pocket. With movements to fast to follow with the eye he passed by and pushed them down Nagi's waistband.  
  
* Practicing the old street pose are we?*  
  
" What the fuck are you doing?" The boy's voice was dangerously low. He heard the crisp sound as the bills were removed, crushed and scattered on the floor.  
  
* If you act like a whore...*  
  
* I was *not*! *  
  
Schuldich laughed lowly and pushed the button in the wall. Heard the low hum from the elevator coming down.  
  
* But you were...* He shot the other  
  
" I was not!" The boy's voice was low and intense, the lights indicating the elevator's whereabouts started to blink frenetically.  
  
" Oh come one , Nagi...For a being such a flirt you're unusually dull!" Schuldich started to grow tired of the boy's defensiveness.  
  
"Well, then maybe I'm not..." the boy said sternly. a little bit sultry...His heart fluttered like bat wings in his chest Schuldich noted.  
  
" Pouting, are we?" He said as the sliding doors parted." Cheer up, cutie, nothing has happened...yet!" He grinned and entered the elevator.  
  
As they moved up the floors Nagi's thoughts redrew and started focusing on how they best could make their way out without being noticed. He fished out the folded plastic bag from his pocket and started filling it with the heavy scrolls. Back in full work mode, his thoughts pierced the air.  
  
Schuldich enjoyed it. He loved Nagi's thoughts when they were like this: Cool lemonade rippling through his mind. A clear liquid, brilliant shine, he rolled them over. Pierced them, tasted them. So unlike the angry little boy from a moment ago. That angry, *needy* little boy a moment ago, he reminded himself and the thought made him horny, made his nostrils flare...  
  
" Stop being obscene with my thoughts..." Nagi sent him a midnight gaze.  
  
* You noticed?* Schuldich was utterly surprised.  
  
*..Always have...* The boy smiled slightly.  
  
Dammit, the boy was certainly full of surprises lately Schuldich marvelled. But instead of being annoyed he was thrilled. What a creature he was, he thought almost in awe and got a instant shock by his own thoughts. Was he indeed developing an attraction to Nagi Naoe? - and if so, what did it mean? And what was he going to do about it?  
  
They were both calm and composed when they slipped out the backdoor of the museum and entered Brad's car. The American gave them an appreciative look when they handed him the scrolls and Nagi and Schuldich gave each other a smug glance before settling back in their seats.  
  
II  
  
Of course the boy's defensiveness didn't go away - it increased. He should've seen the speech coming. And when it came it was most unpleasant because Schuldich had begun to make peace with the idea of taking Nagi Naoe as his lover. The boy had offered himself after all, and quite frankly he took great pleasure in teasing him, see him blush and squirm, delve in the anger...the sharp spicy mint of his mind. He took great pleasure in thinking about him as well, picturing Nagi's fingers touching him, buttocks spread, legs in the air...He sensed the boys longing for deprivation, the walls that kept him back. All the restraint and the hot boiling passion underneath. He was also confident that he was the only target of Nagi's urges. There was only one man who could make the boy's back stiffen, his tension level increase and create such wonderful waves of hunger, terror and lust. Why, he had no idea. Except for the fact that he was the prettiest killer on the block. Still he found it somewhat weird that the youth had developed such an interest - such sweet, painful emotions for him. Something had to be done, he thought two days after the mission, when Nagi entered the kitchen where Schuldich was busy watching the pasta boil.  
  
* Hello, Nagi - I thought you were avoiding me...* He thought a bit sourly.  
  
* I am, but I'm hungry.* The boy shot back. " Do you mind?" Nagi motioned for him to move away from the stove.  
  
" No, not at all..." Schuldich said and stood firmly, tried to force the boy to touch him. Brush against him when he passed. Nagi didn't. Instead he moved Schuldich; a not too gentle push by invisible hands.  
  
Schuldich was annoyed.  
  
" Nagi...?!" His voice demanded explanation.  
  
* YES! I'm sorry!* Instable waves of frustration. Honey mingled with the mint. The boy looked tired. Dry...* I didn't mean to...never meant to...I shouldn't have! I'm scared!*  
  
* I know you are...*  
  
" Yes you know everything don't you...?!" * Bastard!*  
  
"And what have I done to cause this anger?" Schuldich crossed his arms over his chest. Stood a couple of steps away from the youth. Measured him coldly.  
  
* I came to you!*  
  
"Yes, you did..."  
  
* I take the blame!*  
  
* The blame for what?*  
  
* I'm stupid!* Nagi didn't meet his gaze. Black hair hid his eyes as he silently stared at his bare toes, kept his arms crossed as well - looked suddenly very small and fragile.  
  
*Yes, you are...now what is your point, Nagi?* Schuldich replied.  
  
* I shouldn't have - and I'm scared - Leave me alone! - You are a monster.*  
  
* But so are you!*  
  
* I shouldn't have...I shouldn't...- I am so scared!- My body wants you! - I do not!*  
  
" You're apologizing? " - *...for coming on to me?*  
  
*Yes!*  
  
* You're regretting it...?*  
  
*Yes! I'm so sorry!*  
  
* Not a very wise move, was it?*  
  
* I didn't think you'd notice...*  
  
* And now that I know...*  
  
* It's all too much! I can't...I wont...I'm scared...*  
  
* Playing with fire...*  
  
* Why on earth do you want me?*  
  
* You're delicious, my Nagi...*  
  
" No I'm not!"  
  
" Yes, you are!"  
  
" No...stop!"  
  
* You want this to end?*  
  
" Yes, please!" The boy looked sincerely troubled. His lips were just a thin, white line. His eyes were shrouded and tired.  
  
" Well, it's your game...always was..."  
  
* I don't play games...* - "I'm sorry!"  
  
* So am I, sweetie, * - " Consider this topic dropped!"  
  
The pasta was left to boil itself mushy and Schuldich left the room. Fuming with unexpressed anger and annoyance. Mostly, he thought when he was back in his room, because of the feelings it created in his gut. He didn't want to drop the matter. Didn't want to give up this pursuit.  
  
The annoyance made him restless, pushed him a bit off balance. Disturbed him... He opened his drawers and went through them. Pulled out crimson leather pants and a deep green mesh top. He needed to get out. Needed to get laid. Find some fine and willing boy to take the tension off his chest. Rock his body back to normal, soothe his mind, still the hunger. He braided his hair into a long, thick whip of fiery red, glittering, crimson studs in his ears. He stuffed his pockets with bills and watched his own muscles spill under the thin, transparent fabric in the mirror. His nipples shrank into hard pebbles when he pinched them . He looked good as always. He'd find someone young and luscious to play with. Someone who wasn't afraid of dropping his pants...of playing with Schu-schu. It would all be good...  
  
By a streak of luck or destiny he ran into Nagi on his way out. The boy was right outside his door, probably headed for his room and the beloved computer. The boy froze in motion though, when the red fury that was Schuldich entered the hall.  
  
" Going somewhere?" The boy asked, stunned. Looked at him with open mouth.  
  
" What do you think?" Schuldich gave him an angry look. " See something you like?" He sniggered coldly.  
  
" I...I..." Nagi opened and closed his mouth, his eyes were big and staring. Schuldich decided he'd had enough of him for one day and quickly grabbed his wrists. With inhuman speed he crashed the boy up against the wall. Held him in place with his body; hands above his head; effectively trapped him there.  
  
He pressed the length of his body against the youth's, slid against it, grind with his hips. He bent down a bit and captured his lips. Pressed their mouths together and added some tongue for the moisture.  
  
The tip of his tongue slid across Nagi's who instinctively parted them. Let him come inside. It was sweet that kiss. Sweet, hot and long lasting and tasted of ripe, juicy berries.  
  
Nagi's little tongue came along to play. Insecure yet eager. Sliding against Schuldich's own. Tasted him, savored him. Sucked at the piercing piece of flesh. His lips were soft now, he gave a sigh.  
  
Schuldich broke off the kiss.  
  
" Good night, Nagi..." he murmured hoarsely and let him go. Took the stairs in one jump. Nagi's frustrated, lust filled and unfocused thoughts followed him as backdrop.  
  
* You know...this would be where you tore my limbs off,* he sent him a last half-annoyed, half-sniggering thought.  
  
********************  
  
He didn't take the little blond home, nor the pretty dark-haired one either. Nagi's kiss had been too sweet. Nagi's energy flooded in his veins like poison...vicious venom that made him see blue eyes instead of green, creamy skin instead of tanned when he looked at the boys in the club.  
  
Pathetic, he thought to himself and cursed his team-mate inwardly. He was mad, - and he was horny. He was angry and filled with lust. He wanted to punish. Yet cherish. Destroy. Be good. He wanted to have what Nagi Naoe had to offer, even if it meant he had to take it. He wanted the boy to suffer, yet come along for the ride. He wanted to fuck. He wanted to maim and mutilatr...he wanted to kiss him...slit his throat.  
  
He didn't feel bad or wrong at all when he opened the door to Nagi's room and dropped his coat to the floor.  
  
He approached the sleeping boy with determination and slipped in under the crisp. white covers. Watched the resting form with hungry eyes. Felt the youth's body heat engulf him. Spread like a warm glow over his limbs. The faint scent of roses. The cool feel of mint.  
  
" Bitch...!" He murmured when Nagi finally opened his eyes. His hair was a bit unruly. Blue eyes heavy with sleep.  
  
" Schuldich!" Sudden panic. The boy tried to sit up but Schuldich arm stopped him, embraced him from the side.  
  
" Hush," he soothed in a not too assuring voice. " I'll give you what you want." He offered.  
  
" What?" The boy asked, sleep-dazed and confused.  
  
" Take what you want from me, I'm totally yours," Schuldich lay back and rested his arms above his head in a mockingly, yet honest act of surrender.  
  
" I have told you..."  
  
" Yeah! But here I am at your mercy. At your disposal in your bed. Now take it!" Schuldich almost yelled.  
  
" I- I'm sorry!" Nagi stammered. The youth slept in only his soft, silvery pants, Schuldich wet his lips while watching his creamy chest, the dark plum color of his exposed nipples.  
  
" You want me to suck at those?" He asked.  
  
" No I.." His breathing came heavy.  
  
* Do you want me to touch you?* Schuldich whispered hotly in his mind.  
  
" Why are you doing this?" Nagi's voice trembled... "I'm not your enemy! You agreed to let it go..."  
  
Schuldich smiled slightly;  
  
" Maybe I just want you anyway," his expression gave nothing away.  
  
"Why?!" Nagi was pale.  
  
My God, he hadn't come here to be questioned! Schuldich was mightily annoyed again. And his body felt restless and hot. He bent over the boy, close enough to feel his heat. But not quite touching him, yet. He brushed the silken skin of his smooth cheek with his breath;  
  
" Because you want it so much, - you're such a needy little boy..." He felt Nagi stiffen. " ...Posing like a boy whore...your deprivation makes me hungry...such a beautiful slut my little Nagi..." The boy gave a sharp intake of breath and Schuldich brushed his skin with his lips then he laughed, teasingly, bitterly.  
  
" Dammit!" Nagi cried out and Schuldich was thrown out of the bed, sent spinning upwards through the air. I'm dying, he thought as his body headed for the rock hard ceiling. I've gone too far, I'll die now. But then, as a miracle, his body stopped. Froze in mid-air a couple of inches from the solid wood. Nagi sat in the bed, panting. Their eyes locked and for a long minute, neither said anything. Nagi's eyes were cold. Deep pools of ocean water trapped under solid ice. Schuldich heart beat fast, he didn't dare to move....say anything...nothing. Was completely at the boy's mercy in that moment. Then the clasp in his braid suddenly loosened and drifted slowly down to rest on the bed. He felt a rush of sensation as his hair slowly began to unbraid on his back.  
  
* You like it loose?* He asked lowly. Neutral. A hint of expectation in his mental voice.  
  
* Yes...* A equally neutral reply. Nagi's face gave nothing away. He stared as in a trance at the floating man above him. The buttons of Schuldich's pants sprang open and the leather started to crawl down over his hips. The invisible fingers tugged at his thin top. Schuldich dared a movement and lifted his arms to let the material slip over his head. The pants peeled off his legs, floated down to rest on the bed along with the clasp. He felt himself grow an erection under Nagi's gaze. Ever the exhibitionist he couldn't help but to react to the attention, even when floating mid-air.  
  
" Do you really want me?" Nagi asked quietly, almost inaudibly. He looked pale, strained and worn with tension.  
  
* Yes.*  
  
The boy held his breath and Schuldich was slowly lowered from the ceiling to rest, still in air, a few inches from Nagi's face. Nagi lay back down on the pillow. Slowly, never breaking the eye contact. Schuldich floated down after him. He could feel Nagi's rapid heart beat on his tongue, hear his shivering breath. So close, yet not fully there...Schuldich studied the frightened face beneath him. Then, on a impulse he gave the boy's lower lip a quick sweep of his tongue. Nagi's breath caught and he lost his concentration. Schuldich slumped down on top of him. Felt the slender form under the covers against his own naked skin. The boy's sweet breath on his face.  
  
" Nagi, " he purred and kissed him. Penetrated the hard, unwilling mouth with his tongue and heard Nagi sigh with relief when he finally softened and parted his lips. Melted under him, tension and strain seeped away from his muscles.  
  
* You have a weakness for kisses...* Schuldich commented while ravaging the warm, moist cave of his mouth, bit his lips, massaged his tongue roughly with his own.  
  
* I've never been kissed before...*  
  
* Really?!*  
  
*...Not like this...* The boy moaned into the kiss, opened his mouth even wider.  
  
* It's a good kiss,* Schuldich sighed.  
  
* You're good at it...* Nagi smiled in his head. Pale fingers came to tangle in his hair. Catch heavy cascades of red in his palm.  
  
* Then why...?*  
  
* I'm scared!*  
  
Schuldich sighed and broke off the kiss, let moist lips travel down the boy's throat, added some tongue. Licked and bit gently at the sensitive skin. Marveled at the smoothness, the faint taste of salt. Nagi moaned loudly and fine limbs twitched beneath him.  
  
* You like that...*  
  
* I do.*  
  
* I'm not going back you know...there's only one way from here.*  
  
* I know...*  
  
* I'm going to fuck you.*  
  
* I know...*  
  
* Don't you mind?* Schuldich licked a trail across the boy's chest. Ended up on one of his nipples, sucked greedily at the stiff peak of plum colored flesh. Tasty indeed, he smiled inwardly.  
  
* No!* Nagi's body jerked, his hips grind against Schuldich and he moaned again. Pressed Schuldich's head to his chest, closer to the lapping tongue. Heavy silken hair flooded across the creamy surface, Nagi's hands closed around his shoulders, his body moved with Schuldich's movements. Arched and twitched, molded and gave in. His eyes were almost closed; just a sliver of blue visible under heavy lashes. His thick black hair looked moist and unruly. Lips slightly parted, glistening with moisture. He parted his legs under the covers. Schuldich pushed his hips downwards, pressed his arousal to Nagi's crotch, felt the twitching response, the erection similar to his own, but it wasn't enough...not nearly enough;  
  
* Nagi, let me in...*  
  
Nagi didn't give any visible response but Schuldich's body levitated slightly and the covers flew off the bed. The slick, warm fabric of Nagi's pants met Schuldich naked thighs when he was let back down.  
  
* Much better, * he grinned and sat up on his knees, kneeling between Nagi's legs. He hooked his thumbs inside the waistband of aforementioned, silvery pants and pulled them swiftly down over the boy's hips. Gave a feral smile by the sight of the slender, weeping erection; cream colored and smooth in a nest of soft, black curls. A neat little set off balls. All curled up, resting heavily under the boy's cock.  
  
Nagi lifted his hips, gave him space to continue his task, the silver disappeared, revealing more smooth skin. Long legs. Skinny as only a teenager could be.  
  
*My pretty...* He grinned and tossed the pants aside. Lay back on top of Nagi, slid his body against the younger man's. Let their erections meet and greet, clear fluid mingle. Nagi's legs curled around his, kept him in place while slightly rocking his hips. The boy's hands roamed his sides. Slid across his buttocks. Schuldich moved and pushed his hips into closer contact with Nagi's. Almost painful, raw hunger flared in the boy's gaze.  
  
Schuldich kissed him again.  
  
* You're so beautiful...* Nagi slipped unconsciously. A deep sigh followed the statement.  
  
* Ah...but you're just after my body,* Schuldich grinned and grabbed hold of Nagi's thighs, sat up between them and pulled the boy closer. Spread his legs wide.  
  
" Showtime!" He gave a wicked smile and arched his eyebrows teasingly. Saw Nagi swallow hard and shiver slightly with anticipation. " Give me my coat on the floor," he said lowly and raised his hand to catch the flying material.  
  
He fished out the coconut flavored lube from his inner pocket and tossed the coat back on the floor, then he lifted Nagi's legs to his shoulders. Let them rest there, knees bent. It lifted him from the mattress and opened him up. Exposed him to Schuldich impatient, hungry eyes. He took his time to touch him though. Let his free palm cup and stroke the firm buttocks that had been haunting his fantasies for so many nights now. He played with his cock as well. Touched it greedily, held it firmly and gave a few strokes. Felt the boy shiver, heard his gasping moans.  
  
His index circled the tiny entrance to his body. Circled it and probed gently before uncapping the lube with his teeth and let some of the coconut scented slickness dribble down the crack of his buttocks, smear his index and let it slide inside. Hot tightness. Yielding flesh. Nagi looked tense, then he squirmed and bit his lips, gave a yelping sound when Schuldich crooked his finger. Brushed the secret gland in there, rubbed it gently with his finger.  
  
* Please...* Nagi begged and closed his eyes. His head rolled to the side.  
  
* It wont be long now...* Schuldich promised. His own aching hardness grew eager and impatient. A surging need built in his stomach. * You look so good with your feet in the air,* he shot at the boy without mercy, adding another finger to the teasing play in his body. * Bet you'll look even better with a hard one up there...*  
  
" Give it to me," it was just a whisper.  
  
* What?*  
  
* Fuck me, Schuldich...*  
  
" Yes," he hissed and bent forward, positioned himself over the well lubed entrance, added some pressure and slid inside. Slowly but not gentle. Gentle didn't make sense at the time.  
  
* You're so huge,* the youth's awe. His eyes were open again, big, blue shiny orbs. Shrouded with lust and aching need. Another kind of tension spread on his features. Nothing painful with this one. Just pleasure.  
  
* But that's how you like it...* Schuldich didn't smile. The hotness of the body under him, the feel of his flesh embracing him drew and swallowed all his attention. No more room for games. Just this: Finding his release between Nagi's smooth thighs.  
  
He rocked his hips slowly at first. Slid inside and back out again. Tried him out, stretched him. When the boy gave no sign of pain he increased the speed. Gave a low sigh by the feel of it. He watched the boy's face, the emotions it displayed. Rippling lust and pleasure that came and went rhythmically, spread and ceased like waves on the usually so serious and cold face of Nagi Naoe. His body moved with Schuldich's who watched his own member disappear inside of him and reappear glistening with sweet scented lube and pre-cum. Nagi's cock twitched and jerked on his stomach. Beads of pre-cum created a small, tiny river on the creamy perfection of his skin. Deep moans accompanied the pleasure and Nagi's hands held Schuldich narrow hips and a slippery grip. Rocked with him as he moved.  
  
* Harder?*  
  
* Yes...faster...!*  
  
* My boy..!.*  
  
Stunningly beautiful, a black angel beneath him. Muscles flexed under his skin. Passionate shivers came and went. Fresh perspiration tasting faintly of mint covered his skin as a fine spun veil. He threw his head back, exposed the long, pale line of his throat. Schuldich gave a hoarse cry and sank his teeth into his neck. Bit down to stifle the cry. Taste his blood as he came inside. Give everything he could offer. Take him throughout and make sure the boy knew he'd been had. Nagi came as well, grabbed Schuldich's hand as he did. Kissed it, licked it, sucked his fingers while his body jerked and strands of white semen pumped out on his stomach. The boy shivered violently. Bit his lower lip and moaned deeply. Hid his face in Schuldich's palm. The waves of his orgasm hit Schuldich as well, gave him a second round of mind shattering pleasure. A mint and raspberry flavored one. Colored crimson. Black and gold. The taste of Nagi Naoe...  
  
Schuldich took a moment to rest there, between Nagi's thighs. Try to gather his scattered wits before he sat back on his heels and slowly drew from the youth's damp body. Saw coconut scented semen pour out from the boy as he did. Stain the white sheets with fluid. He bent down and placed a sloppy, wet kiss on Nagi's stomach, dipped his tongue briefly in the pool of pearly liquid.  
  
"What a dirty little boy you are, " he smiled smugly to the other through a veil of red hair and flung his long, slender legs over the edge of the bed and down on the floor. He rose, utterly energized. Content to the core of his miserable being.  
  
He picked up the leather pants from the floor and pulled them on in one quick move. Grabbed the mesh top in one hand and turned to Nagi...- Nagi hadn't moved at all. The slumped form lay as he'd left him - Legs spread, semen smeared all over his lower belly. His lips were swollen and red from kissing. His eyes fixed on the ceiling.  
  
Schuldich felt a faint uneasiness by the sight. He made an effort to pierce his mind:  
  
* Why...oh why did I do this?...Weak...ugly and weak...* Spiraling into that void. That bitter loneliness of his soul.  
  
* Well, ugly you're not...I can tell you that...* Schuldich replied instant and honest. Hadn't really meant for the boy to know he was listening.  
  
* Schuldich*- Nagi acknowledged his presence in his mind. "What happens next?" he asked him in a neutral voice - too neutral. Schuldich knew that.  
  
" Next?" Schuldich was taken a bit aback by the question. " Nothing!" He replied. "Unless you want another go...?" he smiled wickedly but received no response from the bed.  
  
" Oh..." Nagi uttered and fell silent.  
  
" What did you expect?" He didn't ask him to be cruel. It was sincere curiosity on his part although he realized it could be mistaken.  
  
* Nothing...I suppose,* Nagi answered in his head. * I didn't expect this to happen at all...*  
  
* Well, it was you who started it,* Schuldich said somewhat defensive. His feeling of uneasiness increased slightly. Nagi didn't reply to this either but the spiraling pain of self-loath and guilt surfaced again, nagging voices of deep, black regret:  
  
* Why.oh I'm so stupid...should never have...I'm such a fool...worthless...whore... Oh why...why did I do it?*  
  
" Oh come on, Nagi!" Schuldich was annoyed. " You loved it, it was good...it was just sex, Nagi...nothing to be so upset about." - * I felt it too, you know. I felt it when you came...you have nothing to complain about!* Why did the boy have to ruin a perfectly good thing with silly thoughts like that? And why did he even care? He'd gotten what he'd wanted and it had been everything he hoped for and then some...The boy had been perfect: luscious...delicate and good. A great fuck, so why wasn't Nagi content? Schuldich was a good lay, he knew that. There was nothing wrong with his skills, and Nagi had seemed to enjoy it, just as he knew he would...  
  
The youth on the bed kept silent. Schuldich slumped down beside him with a sigh.  
  
* So... what did I do wrong?*  
  
The boy slowly turned his head. Looked at him with glazed eyes:  
  
* You're still here,* he stated.  
  
* Obviously!*  
  
* I wanted you to go away...*  
  
* Well,* Schuldich didn't hide his annoyance, * I'm not used at leaving my lovers at the brink of suicide - they usually have better experiences than that, - or they appreciate me more...* he added sourly.  
  
"...The sex was good, " Nagi assured him half-heartedly.  
  
" I would say, " Schuldich muttered in reply.  
  
" Just go, Schuldich, I'll be all right." The boy's tired expression was back. His voice was cold and empty.  
  
Schuldich rose from the bed again and took a couple of steps towards the door, then he paused and looked back at the boy:  
  
" You know if you'd been anything but Schwartz I would've loved to break your mind right now...You're so fragile - I can taste your tender death on my tongue."  
  
* ...Maybe I had reasons to say no.*  
  
Schuldich froze in motion. Cold dread suddenly rippled down his spine...Of course, Nagi was not a fool. He knew his own limits. Youth or not he was still - old. Like the rest of them...It had been stupid of him not to take that into consideration. But he'd been too blinded, perhaps, by his urges. By Nagi's unexpected sexual approach. Still he should have listened. When the boy said no, it was a grown man's no.  
  
" Did I break your shields?" The question was important. Schuldich didn't feel good at all. Some things you respected. They had all worked so hard...* I was reckless, I should've thought - I'm sorry.*  
  
* I started it you know,* Nagi smiled slightly.* *I* should've thought...I was the fool... But thanks! - the sex was great.* The faint smile widened a bit but he still looked tired and worn.  
  
Schuldich felt a cold draft in the room, he turned his head away from the boy, spoke with his back to him;  
  
" I was angry and annoyed. You know what I'm like when I'm angry and annoyed..."  
  
" I know," his voice was soft, understanding. Schuldich didn't like the sound of it at all. He reached one hand out behind his back.  
  
" Come on, Nagi," he called.  
  
" Why?" Nagi's voice was a whisper.  
  
" I'll clean you up," Schuldich explained. " You can't stay in here tonight. Your sheets aren't white anymore."  
  
* Never white...* forgotten words.* You said that once...*  
  
* I know, I remember.*  
  
" Where am I staying then?"  
  
" Tonight? -With me if you like."  
  
" Would that be all right?"  
  
" It would be fine."  
  
Nagi Naoe's hand took his as he slowly climbed out of the bed. The dark grey robe by the door drifted through the room and curled around his shoulders. He looked so small like that. Small and tender, shrouded in silk.  
  
Schuldich guided him across the floor and out in the hall, down to his own door and into the bathroom. He lifted the robe from Nagi's shoulders and turned on the shower. Hot, hot damp filled the small space, drifted between black polished marble walls.  
  
" Will you be ok? " he asked Nagi.  
  
The boy nodded but Schuldich didn't believe him.  
  
" I need a shower too, " he said. " I'll come in with you."  
  
* Thanks.*  
  
He held him gently in the hot stream. The small form close to his body. He moved the shower in circles over the flesh he had marked.  
  
" Spread your legs, " he said softly. Nagi did as he was told and Schuldich let the clear water rinse him off.  
  
* Do you trust me?* He suddenly asked.  
  
* Who else is there to trust?*  
  
* True...*  
  
* I have value for you...*  
  
* You do.*  
  
Schuldich turned off the water and let Nagi walk out first. The boy embraced his upper body. Looked cold in the steamy hot room. Schuldich draped a dark green towel over his shoulders.  
  
" Go to bed, I'll be with you soon..."  
  
Nagi obediently walked out of the room and Schuldich leaned heavily on the sink. Breathed deliberately slow and even. Let his shields down at last, allowed himself to feel. The last thirty minutes had been a constant strain of shielding and blocking to avoid Nagi's thoughts. Now he could breathe again, and damn it felt good.  
  
* I love him*. He thought and laughed low and bitterly. Probably insane, he thought and met his own gaze through the fog in the mirror.  
  
Loved him...like a brother perhaps...the talented, serious boy. The broken and patched up doll. Crawford's little wonder boy. All angry and messed up. Much like he'd been, only much younger when damaged.  
  
He'd loved him...always maybe ...for years...ever since he arrived. Not in the same way he cared...for Farfarello. Like a necessary evil, like a brother in crime. Not like...the friendly respect that existed between him and Brad. The professional coolness that sometimes tasted like friendship...but like a.man, he realized. Now it had become...like a man. He'd just fucked him hadn't he? Laid a claim on his body. Marked and ravaged to make sure he knew - who he belonged to...  
  
He was *in* love. And the knowledge hurt and amazed him. Why else these acts of kindness? This sudden need to soothe and protect him. Take care of it... He was *in* love, and it was not a good thing at all. Doomed to fail. Doomed to annoy and destroy no end...Beginning with his regret over opening old wounds, trace his scars with his lust and hunger. He didn't know what had happened to Nagi Naoe, but he did know it had been bad - and somehow he had brushed the kernel of it. Nagi's own, personal misery...  
  
Schuldich leaned his forehead against his twin's in the mirror. Smiled cruelly and feral to himself.  
  
The bruised boy in his bed... was suddenly scary and no fun at all.  
  
******************  
  
He stared at the wall and didn't move when Schuldich entered the room. Still wrapped in the towel, his lithe frame looked too small for the spacious bed.  
  
I know something you don't know, Schuldich thought but didn't send it. He had put on the blue silk pajamas pants, figured it would make the boy feel better. More comfortable, if he wasn't naked.  
  
He pulled the covers off.  
  
" Come on," he said, tried to keep it neutral. " It's bed time, " he added and touched Nagi's shoulder gently.  
  
* I'm naked, * Nagi stated and the robe came drifting once more. Schuldich caught it for him. Helped him get rid of the towel and replace it with the grey silk.  
  
" Come down now," Schuldich repeated. He held the covers open for him and Nagi accepted the invitation. Curled up beside him on the dark blue satin sheets.  
  
* I'll hold you, * Schuldich offered. Only he knew what the offer cost him.  
  
* Are you sure?*  
  
" Yes..."  
  
Schuldich turned out the light and moved a bit closer to him. Let his hands feel their way in the dark. Open arms, inviting...A little awkward the youth settled in them. Cheek pressed against his chest, arms around his waist. Schuldich embraced his shoulders. Held him to his warmth.  
  
" It wasn't you!" Nagi suddenly burst out.  
  
" I know." Schuldich replied calmly.* Sleep now, Nagi* he added with his mind.* I'll hold you...* And he did.  
  
III  
  
Nagi wasn't there when he woke up. He hadn't really expected him to be. It was all good. It was better than good; it was a relief. The memory of his body, the smoothness of his skin, the feel of the young boy in arms was quickly gone and replaced by nagging dread: What to do, he pondered while restlessly tossing on the bed. What to do, how to deal, how to make it go away...because that was what he had to do...Ignore the whole affair, as if it had never happened. As if he'd never gotten to know his own feelings. That was the reasonable...the *only* option in this...He knew now, that he himself, was capable of feeling. He wasn't at all so sure about about Nagi. The boy was cold. Too serious. Too...passionate, yielding in his arms. Fucking with a edge, nothing but strong, smooth limbs and hot burning fire. Chocolate pudding and whipped cream, the feeling of Nagi Naoe when he was taken. Sweet and delicate and dark. Velvety and delicious... His body reacted to the thoughts...the memories of the previous night. - Before it had been ripped and burned to ashes by bitter taint and blood scented past. Before he'd looked himself in the mirror and seen a different side.  
  
He cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. He'd been obsessed by the idea of having him...he should have known...should have figured...But then again, he didn't think much of his own heart. It was somewhat shrouded, buried deep - what was left of it. Always drowning in other people's noise. He'd worked so hard on shielding himself from other minds, other's emotions. It was hard to tell where his own heart began. Find the limits of his own mind...not to include his own, often rather painful, feelings in the process. Keep them out and away. He couldn't afford to feel much. The defenses he'd built were fragile... if one brick fell...  
  
On the other hand it was a simple emotion. Easy to deal with. All rock hard and smooth. He was in love with Nagi Naoe. In love...so easy. So uncomplicated. Pure, that falling. No taste at all.  
  
Almost white...almost, - not quite - for it was egg-shaped and had a kernel of pain in it's midst. The seed could never grow into something beautiful. Just something tangled and poisonous. There was nothing but darkness and hurt in there under the scale. Nothing alive and healthy could come of it...  
  
Nagi was a child of pain. Schuldich was born a riot. Nagi was insensitive to other's hurt. Schuldich ate it like candy.  
  
The boy was ice and mint. Schuldich was fire and cinnamon. Together they were part of Shcwartz. Together they were bloodied demons. Freaks...killers...lunatics...nightmares. Schuldich wasn't stupid - he knew perfectly well what they were.  
  
He didn't think Nagi capable of feeling - on the other hand he hadn't thought the boy capable of falling to pieces like he had last night either. Hadn't thought him capable of feeling so deeply. Display such chaotic infernos of confusion and pain. That the injustice and wrong done to him had marked him so severely. And the passion...Oh God! - The passion! He'd been taken aback by that as well...the complete letting go. The surrender of control...He'd meant to fuck him yes, but hadn't expected such a one-man show. He'd thought it'd be a fight for dominance, not the yielding youth beneath him. The pliant and willing body, rocking with him for release.  
  
Schuldich body reacted again and he moved a bit uneasy on the mattress and studied the red teeth marks on his index finger. Evidence of Nagi's peak. His pleasure the night before.  
  
It had broken something in the boy.  
  
And cracked his own shields open. Let him get a glimpse of his own long forgotten, but obviously still living, heart.  
  
Schuldich sighed. There was nothing to do with it though. No action that was either reasonable or right. He would have to let it go. Nagi would probably not stand in the way of such a solution either...  
  
And no more chocolate pudding, he reminded himself while quickly jerking off. Stained the satin sheets with milky white droplets. Don't even go there, he thought with conviction. No more taste of Nagi's raspberry and mint, he continued while quickly approaching the edge. No more dreaming of those buttocks...He came with a deep moan, pictured plum colored nipples smeared with white. Shiny, blue eyes looked at him, shrouded by lust - in his mind.  
  
**********************  
  
He was good. He did very well, Schuldich thought proud when he finally meet Nagi again the following night. The boy had hidden well during the day, but Schuldich hadn't looked for him either. Actually he'd been careful not too look. Deliberately avoiding searching the corner of the rooms with his eyes when he entered them. Deliberately avoiding...searching out Nagi's shoes with his gaze in the hall, his mug in the sink. Tried not to notice the faint smell of cream and brown sugar that accompanied Nagi's morning coffee. Instead he'd went shopping. Spent hours with the energetic clerk in the wine store, tasting and picking the best of the rich, red, wines on the very-expensive shelf.  
  
He'd visited his tailor, and tried not to think of how lovely the deep red silk he was caressing with his palm would look against Nagi's pale skin and dark colors.  
  
When he passed by a flower shop and instantly fell for some beautiful orange blossoms on the sidewalk, he had to stop the car once he'd turned the corner and laugh. He hadn't seriously been thinking of buying them for Nagi had he? How utterly...idiotic. How ridiculously stupid! It was as if the mere knowledge of how he felt had created some sort of rush. The feeling was acknowledged and so it refused to die...go away.  
  
True, it was the first real, *new* feeling he'd had in years. The first one in ages to seep out from the noise and take shape as a independent emotion...But *this* was ridiculous. Next think he'd probably be buying heart shaped chocolates and roses...and *mean* it this time when he had them delivered. He was annoyed. Angry. Furious with Nagi for reasons he couldn't quite pin point but that was ok - because he didn't care why. He'd never been the one to bother with reason. The brat had caused all this - so he was angry with him.  
  
He treated himself to a nice meal at an Italian restaurant. Drank far too much wine - toyed with the thought of picking up a boy on his way home but dismissed it. They were close to a mission and Crawford was always jumpy right before a new job. And there was the kid...of course. He'd always loathed self-denial, both in himself and others. He found people's need to hide and explain their thoughts and urges stupid and weak. So of course he thought of Nagi, and since this cruel weak spot was already developed and strong - there was no point in denying he was afraid that taking a lover home would somehow hurt the boy. Add to his seemingly bottomless self- loathing and pain. And truth be told he didn't feel like it either. His body was still sated; which was a shame though, since sex always had a good effect on him. Gave him peace of mind.  
  
Damn that boy! Here he was in shreds and pieces over him...and the brat didn't even appreciate him like he should. Hadn't even taken time to conclude it was the best sex he'd ever had before drowning himself in that pitch black pit of pain and mental horror. If he was going to bail on him like that he shouldn't have started this in the first place...shouldn't have...offered himself like that. But he had! Completely without shame. Only thing missing had been a sign saying 'Fuck me' on his back. 'Eager boi this way' on his door. And if he hadn't started this in the first place, Schuldich would never have seen himself in the mirror...never been faced with this uncomfortable truth. Never been haunted by romantic urges...orange blossoms indeed, Schuldich spat.  
  
And now the kid sat back home, all mighty and in demand. Brooding over his misery, probably cursing Schuldich in his mind. Jumpy and nervous to see him again...either that or, ice cold and composed. Annoyingly calm and defensive...He hated the boy for creating this situation. Hated him for...still being a tempting treat. For making Schuldich want him. Hated him for...making him fantasize about red silk and flowers. Chocolate hearts...  
  
This had to stop!  
  
Schuldich drove home. He entered the mansion in a determined fury. The visible parts of it drained away and hidden. Nagi would get what Nagi wanted. And damn if he was going to sulk over him. No way was the boy to see what kind of havoc he'd caused in the mastermind's master mind, he fumed inwardly and was instantly struck by internal lightning when the black-haired boy looked up at him from the lap top screen with big, blue eyes, oozing with surprise and insecurity. Never had he looked so young. So damned fragile and unprotected. Schuldich threw his bags on the spacious kitchen table and turned his back to the boy. Opened a bottle from one of the bags and poured himself a glass of wine. Bought himself time. Hid the surprise.  
  
" Schuldich...?" At last. His voice was so soft.  
  
" Yes," he snarled, he knew it. Couldn't help it. He suddenly got aware of the clattering sound from the cupboards. Glasses and plates were trembling on the shelves. * Don't break anything...Crawford would get pissed.*  
  
* I'm sorry...*  
  
* For what?*  
  
* The noise...*  
  
Schuldich laughed. He'd been sure the boy would give him the regret-rant. He certainly seemed upset enough, not being able to keep his powers under control. He usually had a will of steel.  
  
" Talk, Nagi..." he demanded. Better to get it over with. " Your thoughts are swarming like bees in here." And it was true. The unfocused energy from the youth made it hard to breathe, created an almost unbearable pressure in the room.  
  
* Can't you just look inside?* The boy was serious.  
  
* Why bother ? You can't even make sense of it yourself, it would give *me* a headache.*  
  
" I - I was just thinking..." the boy didn't argue Schuldich point. " I was thinking that since we work together and all it probably would be best if...If we please could just forget that any of this happened," he said without breathing.  
  
* You'd like that wouldn't you?* Schuldich was still fuming and didn't care to hide it anymore.  
  
" Are you angry because I left?"  
  
Schuldich didn't answer. Didn't trust himself to say anything in that moment. Didn't want to blow it. And he was too mad to be sure he wouldn't. How had he ended up the weak part in this? So utterly at a disadvantage.  
  
He made a decision and flung his thoughts into Nagi's mind. Probed around in there... there had to be something besides shame, pain and regret. Some sort of lingering aftermath that wasn't entirely bad.  
  
* ...Oh my god, I even said he was beautiful...how embarrassing...that was such a foolish thing to say...why did I say that...he must think me such a child...*  
  
Schuldich leaned back on the bench, crossed his arms over his chest and laughed out loud.  
  
" My god, Nagi. You're only sixteen after all aren't you!" He howled with laughter.  
  
* What?!* Nagi's cheeks were stained with red and the clattering sound increased.  
  
Schuldich probed inside again and this time it wasn't as pleasant:  
  
* ...How could I do that? With him of all people...that arrogant worm...he'd crush me with delight...snickering...treacherous...bitch...enemy...Hate him..hate...hate...!* The first couple of high stemmed glasses fell down from the shelf and got crushed on the tiled floor.  
  
" Are you *sure* about that?" Schuldich had lowered his voice. Swam in the thick, dark boiling heat of Nagi's anger. Didn't taste of raspberries and mint. Tasted bitter. Like dry poisonous herbs.  
  
" Yes," Nagi hissed and looked at him with eyes so dark they almost didn't look blue at all. He'd lowered his lids and the visible parts of his eyes shone with an almost metallic glow.  
  
* Forced me...seduced me...attacked me in my own bed...I said no...he tempted me...on top of me...worked me up...made me want it...do it...disgusting!* The big glass bowl on the bench behind him exploded with a loud crushing sound. Schuldich didn't flinch.  
  
" You *seemed* to like at the time! And let me *again* remind you who started it." he snarled. The light bulbs started blinking frenetically above his head.  
  
* ...his fault...!* Nagi's mind screamed in Schuldich's. Unable to shield he took it in: *...walking around in those skin tight pants...long fingers...caressing the stem of his glass...teasing eyes...long, long hair...skin like cream caramel...makes me want to touch him...breath him...feel him...pure sex...smells so good...* it came in a irrational tumble.* Touch the silken fall of his hair...auburn fire touches me...* Nagi thought in a angry mixture of lust and despair.  
  
Schuldich grinned widely. Suddenly smug and confident by the bench. The light bulbs exploded and showered the floor with tiny pieces of glass. Schuldich was forced to move over to the table with unnatural speed to avoid the flying glass.  
  
* Careful, sugar...you don't want me all scarred and ugly do you?* he uttered with his heart in his throat but still sipping at the wine.  
  
* Then you'd be all mine!* Nagi's thoughts answered spontaneously and threw the boy into another fit of fury: * Hate him...stupid...evil...games...hate him...don't want him...I'm weak...weak...weak...* Schuldich marveled at him and brewed inwardly with astonished laughter. This was so not what he had expected. Coldness and hate, yes. But not this hungry fire...  
  
* Want to go upstairs and fuck?* Schuldich couldn't help it.  
  
* Yes!* The boy's mind screamed. "No!" He blurted out and reddened. The table started trembling and all of Crawford's best porcelain, the one he used to impress their employees fell down to the tiled floor in a rush of scrambling noises.  
  
Schuldich threw his glass after it and rolled himself over table faster than the boy could think and landed in his lap, straddling the skinny thighs.  
  
" Nagi..." he purred close to the boy's ear. Leaned in with his hands on the boy's shoulders. * You can't fight me, you know that...* he claimed his lips without waiting for a reply. Plundered his mouth with the tip of his tongue. Nagi gave a startled sigh, then he yielded and became all soft again, kissed him hungry and warm. His eagerness and the sensations he created with that little mouth of his flooded through Schuldich like a rush of sugar. Made him cup the boy's head, make the kiss deeper, more insistent. He pushed his groin into closer contact with Nagi's lithe body. The boy's eyes fell partly shut. Low moans escaped his throat as he struggled to keep up with Schuldich's fire. Pale fingers tangled in tresses of silken red.  
  
* My god - that hair* he sighed inwardly.  
  
* My god, that passion!* Schuldich chuckled in reply, and made a mistake. He should have realized it was one, but he was too thrilled and overwhelmed by the sweet sensations. The surprising turn of the afternoon.  
  
" No! Not passion! " Nagi screamed and threw him off. Schuldich flew over the table and across the room and hit the stove with his back. His head hit in a awkward angle and dammit, it hurt like hell!  
  
" Nagi!" He growled furious just to see whatever was left on the shelves come down in one big shower of glass and ceramics. The drawers flew open and forks, spoons and knives scattered across the tiles while the broken light bulbs buzzed and the napkins in their holder flew like scared ghosts through the air above him. The chairs by the table spun on one leg or crossed the floor like cars with mighty drunk drivers crashing into the walls. One of them almost hit his leg. * What the fuck is wrong with you?! If I am mad you're beyond insane!* Schuldich bitched from the floor. Not afraid, not quite. He'd seen worse. Much worse...But he was annoyed, and insulted! And angry!  
  
A cool, dry voice from the door made it all stop:  
  
" We have all seen your powers, Nagi. You won't impress anyone here. Please stop." Buzzing thoughts. Crisp like winter's snow: * I swear; if I have to raise another 'gifted' teenager I'll go fucking insane!*  
  
" Schuldich stop teasing the boy," -* he is going through a phase, you know that.* - "Nagi- you'll be paying for this..." Crawford motioned to the floor with his palm, then he turned on his heels and left. Farfarello's amber eye stared at them from the open doorway.  
  
"Angry...Nagi?" He smirked before chasing after Crawford, probably wanting something sharp and shiny.  
  
Nagi stood panting on the floor. His hands curled into fists by his sides. Schuldich could swear he saw trickles of clear moisture on the boy's cheeks and quickly killed the seeds of compassion. He rose with what dignity he could measure and his thoughts brewed red.  
  
* Silly, stupid little boy! I should've known better than to waste my time on a child...* He brushed pieces of glass and dust from his clothes. * You're right, you know. You are nothing but a worthless...useless...available...whore. * He gritted his teeth and shot the boy an icy glare: * But don't worry...* he added. * I don't fuck mess ups like you - no matter how available they are or how convenient...Sleep tight, Nagi Naoe,* he fired over his shoulder while heading for the door. * *I* wont be coming after your skinny body again...not if you fucking paid me - and you're too much of a ugly freak to make anyone else do the deed!*  
  
He didn't wait to feel how the words stung. Knew they would. Nagi was sixteen and he'd just confirmed all his worst fears. He just headed for the stairs, the adult space of his own room. His own refreshing shower and the blessed solitude of his own bed - and his heart fucking bled. It bled...and he didn't know why! He hadn't been rejected...not personally. Nagi was practically drooling on the soil he walked on. But he felt very badly treated. Here he'd been holding him through a difficult night, offered him sex, maybe even his love and all the boy could think of was some twisted sense of pride. Being ridden by old, insignificant nightmares...  
  
Nobody treated Schuldich like that! If the brat wanted indifference and ignorance...if he wanted to feel lonely and unloved. Worthless; a piece of shit, well that, by everything unholy, was exactly what the brat would get from him...  
  
Throw him across the room, - how dared he?! -- And cursing some sort of non- existent weakness...fearing his own flesh: How pathetic! Schuldich fumed while turning the shower on What he deserved, he supposed, by engaging with a teenager...He should get himself a man. A grown up sexy man with a healthy appetite, he decided...And Nagi Naoe was definitely banned from his bed.  
  
IV  
  
Nagi Naoe was banned from his bed but not from his environments. Nagi was prancing around in the house. Serious and still and oozing with fear and feverish, bitter-tasting shame every time Schuldich crossed his path. The boy never met his gaze. The boy didn't meet anyone's gaze lately. He looked...slumped...ungraceful. - Unhappy... Paler than usual. Something haunted showed in his face...  
  
Schuldich wondered if he'd apologized to Crawford. He sure hadn't apologized to *him*. Ungrateful brat that he was. Everything Nagi annoyed him these days. the buzz from his computer. The cool, low voice that accurately and precisely answered Crawford's questions in the kitchen when the two of them were plotting for world domination. The boy's laundry basket on the stairs. The classical music cds on the shelf in their shared living room. His schoolbag in the hallway. Why did the boy go to school anyway - he knew everything he needed to- and more. Clever that kid. Clever enough to stomp on his heart.  
  
When the Estet maid - the monkey, as he called her as she was trained to not talk, see or hear - put the red satin sheets on his bed, the ones he'd ordered because they reminded him of the silk in the tailor store - the one that had reminded him of Nagi - he couldn't help but picture the boy, his cream colored skin, on top of them. He'd ordered them anyway, and his nights were suddenly not peaceful anymore. He tossed and turned on the slick, cool fabric. Imagined the scent of the kitten on the sheets. Sometimes it squeezed his heart. Squeezed his heart and didn't let it go...Why, he caught himself thinking, why wasn't the kitten there? Why wasn't he gracing the sheets like he was supposed to? Why was Schuldich there alone and Nagi down the hall? Why couldn't he have him when he wanted to? Reach out and touch him? Fuck him...  
  
He would've been good to him... The boy would've experienced pleasure, and the warmth he so craved after. If the stupid kid would just spread his legs. How hard could it be? it wasn't like he didn't like it...or didn't want to...Schuldich would've loved to play with him all night, lick the sweat from his skin, pull him in for a quickie every morning - maybe even bring him his morning coffee in bed, when their bodies were sated. A sudden image of Nagi on all fours. Trembling legs and ass in the air made him convulse and moan on the dark red sheets. This was *so* bad, he told himself. *So* not according to plan. And the boy was obviously not mature enough to deal with...any of it.  
  
It would've been fun, he thought with regret...having Nagi as his lover. As things were, however, that was not going to happen. Just as well, he added as an after thought, he had a very unhealthy effect on Schuldich mind. Threw him off, shook him...Things he couldn't afford...  
  
Nagi had hurt his pride, his dignity...if he hadn't been Schwartz, Schuldich would have plotted revenge - and a part of him still felt like ripping the boy to shreds, damage him beyond repair. *Nobody* treated Schuldich like that!  
  
The mere fact that he couldn't have him. That the jeopardy of trying would be too great, that there was too much at stake...it annoyed him no end. To such a degree he had to flee the house at night. Seek out the most crowded, the loudest clubs he could find. Always ending up in an alley having his dick sucked off by a dark haired youth. A Nagi substitute. He didn't fool himself. Didn't even bother trying. He was hurting no end, and the annoyance that caused made him furious. How dare he?!  
  
None of his nightly musing showed on the surface though. He was good. He hadn't spoken directly to Nagi for other things than to ask for his keys or the name of a computer program since their last encounter. Their first meeting after the 'kitchen incident' had been a victory in itself: They had passed each other in the hallway; Nagi stinking of almost fearful expectation and dark, blood scented shame. Schuldich had hardly looked at him...Just shrugged slightly and passed by, as if nothing had happened...exactly what the boy had wanted wasn't it? After that it had been easier. Building up a habit of steeling his heart, conjuring black, fuming anger and hate whenever Nagi Naoe was about.  
  
Schuldich could do cold. Schuldich could do ice - when it suited him. Not even on the occasions when Nagi's mind would turn to him, slightly questioning through waves of nervous, heartbroken despair...a lingering taste of regret and confusion, would he let him in.  
  
He shrugged him off and continued with what he was doing. It would be nothing but trouble; giving the boy an inch. Nothing but hurt. Schuldich was done with hurt...  
  
He was in love and swore it was the first and the last time he'd allow something like this disaster to happen. Vulnerable made him weak. Weakness made him sick...  
  
*****************  
  
Eventually, there was a new mission. Had to happen sooner or later...It had over a week since the 'kitchen incident' and Schuldich anger had cooled a bit, but he was still hurt - oh yes, he was. He'd been blocking out the boy to a point where it had become exhausting. He wasn't used at shielding so strongly within the house. Not everyday, all the time...but the look of bottomless sadness and regret on Nagi's face when he thought Schuldich didn't see him made it all worth the effort.  
  
Nagi had stabbed him, now he paid the price.  
  
So when the two of them buckled up in Schuldich's car and Nagi's hand trembled just a little, it brought a smile to his face. A smile and a satisfied warmth in his gut.  
  
He didn't tremble for long though, Schuldich hadn't expected him to...They were on a mission. Target and purpose would soon make the boy glaze over. Become power and ice. And dead sexy, Schuldich admitted and swallowed hard when he caught a glimpse of the determined, young face in the mirror. He opened up, just a bit, knew he had to if the mission was to succeed.  
  
* Schuldich?* Nagi could feel it...  
  
* Yes,* snarling reply.  
  
Nagi didn't say more but relaxed in the seat. He'd probably been afraid that Schuldich would shield him off during missions as well. That would have left him utterly alone without any connection to the others. Schuldich relaxed a bit as well, it was wonderful to put the guards down. Let the thoughts flow through his mind as they were supposed to.  
  
He dared a quick look into Nagi's:  
  
* ...What do I say to him?...Maybe I don't have to say anything...we're working...everything will be the same when we return from the mission...but at least we're linked now...feels good...How can I miss having my mind read? Why does it feel so awkward when he's shutting me out?...It feels good to able to hear him...talk to him again...at least what happened won't jeopardize my life...he'll keep me safe on the mission...he'll hear me...Schuldich can hear me again...*  
  
* Wish I didn't..*  
  
" Sorry," Nagi didn't seem surprised but tilted his head a bit, looked out the window.  
  
* Shouldn't you be thinking of the mission?*  
  
Dark eyes kept staring out, Nagi didn't answer, just stared. Wave after wave of sorrow, of the dark kind - deep and screaming red, flooded from the boy and into Schuldich's mind. He knew the boy didn't do it on purpose, had to bite his tongue - both physically and mentally not to say anything to soothe him. Say anything to make him stop. This was Nagi's pain - and darn if he didn't deserve it! The brat!  
  
As they approached the scene of the night's planned events however the waves ceased and the well known coldness, the icy blue clarity of Nagi Naoe came back. The boy who walked out of the car was an assassin of the deadliest kind. Deadly because he didn't feel shit. Trained to the tip of his fingers to be a tool for Estet and Crawford's Schwartz - and he was good at it. Extremely good.  
  
Schuldich watched him with something resembling pride; the narrow, grey- clad back, the tiny steps of doom that brought the lithe youth to the front gate of the building. He felt him too: Rolled the confidence, the rush of power; Nagi's buried beast. in his mind. Tasted good. Mint-like...  
  
* Sweetness, Schuldich, stop flirting with my mind!* The youth's clear voice sounded.  
  
Schuldich was instantly offended and annoyed but his sense of humor got the better of him.  
  
* I'm sorry!* He burst out and hid a chuckle. * Didn't mean to...* He continued.  
  
* Do you have *any* idea what that feels like?* Nagi continued annoyed. All professional now. Professional and in control.  
  
* No...but I bet it's good...* He couldn't help it.  
  
Nagi didn't answer, just continued to walk towards the mansion in sight. When approaching the doors Schuldich could feel the mental storm that built inside his mind. Share the rush of power when the double doors flew open and crashed into the walls inside. Confused male voices on the inside:  
  
" What was that?"  
  
"...The doors!"  
  
" Must've been the wind..."  
  
" What wind?"  
  
* They told me this would happen if I refused the American...they said it but I didn't believe.* A balding European in a violet suit came to stand in the doorway. Looked at them with terror in his gaze. Oozing of good old honey coated fear.  
  
" My...my...weren't you stupid..." Schuldich teased him.  
  
* What?! Can he read my mind?*  
  
" Sure can...now aren't you going to let your guests into the house?"  
  
"No!" The man screamed and went for the doors, tried in vain to shut them. But apparently they were somehow glued to the walls...  
  
"What the fuck?!" The man screamed in a high pitched voice. Schuldich laughed.  
  
Sweating and panting the man reached for his inner pocket but before the gun was as much as brought fully out in the open one of Nagi's invisible winds smacked the weapon of his grip and sent it spinning into the bushes surrounding the stairs.  
  
" Foolish." Nagi said calmly.  
  
" Indeed." Schuldich replied.  
  
The man sat shivering on his knees. A couple of grey clad Asians had come to watch. Stood fearful in the background, staring on the kneeling man.  
  
" What is this?" One of them asked Schuldich.  
  
" Is he sick?" A third, newly arrived man asked the others. When he saw Schuldich and Nagi his eyes widened: "Is this about the American?" he asked in a low, almost whispering voice. Beads of fresh perspiration gathered on his forehead.  
  
" Sure is...now will you let us in? Or is he to die on these stairs...?"  
  
" What are the options?" The grey clad man continued. " If he is to die...his wife is here..." - * and *my* wife too...God, my wife!*  
  
" Depending on how you all behave, maybe nobody will die..." Schuldich lied smoothly, but these were grown men. If they believed him it was only out of hope for a miracle. Not because they truly *believed*.  
  
" Come on, Schuldich, we don't have that much time." Nagi climbed the steps and Schuldich followed. With another act of will Nagi sent the kneeling man back on the floor, threw him screaming inside the house with a reckless force. Once the two assassins were inside, the doors slammed shut behind them. The men in the marble hall, seven of them in all, were utterly silent. Then one of them screamed. Terrified eyes looked at them, reluctant to believe their own eyes.  
  
* They must have some electronic equipment installed here...but Rufus...how could they throw Rufus?* Aforementioned Rufus laid slumped like rag doll against the marble stairs at the end of the hall. Knocked out for the time being.  
  
Schuldich scanned their minds.  
  
* The women are in the dining room, there's some open French door out to the garden* he told Nagi.  
  
* Got it,* the youth replied and a several clicking, banging sounds filled the silence as every door and every window on the floor shut and locked.  
  
The thoughts of one of the grey glad men, busy wiping sweat of his forehead pierced the air, reached Schuldich's brain:  
  
* I though Rufus was joking when he spoke of Crawford. I didn't think any of it was real...this can't be real!*  
  
Schuldich fastened his gaze on him:  
  
" It wouldn't have been a problem if he would stick to the deal. By betraying us he made a mistake. A mistake he was very well aware of. He knows too much. You all know too much."  
  
" All we wanted, " Nagi continued his speech, "was safe training facilities for our recruits here in Japan. Sound and bullet proof. Your company was supposed to give Estet that...the payment would've been considerable...But you are only entrepreneurs after all..." Nagi sounded almost sad.  
  
" Crawford made a mistake trusting you," Schuldich had lowered his gaze." His friendly gestures was misunderstood..."  
  
The men moved uneasy. A woman appeared in the door to the dining room and froze on seeing them.  
  
" He only wanted to help...tell you what your rivals, were after and how to stop them." Nagi referred to Crawford's usual way of gaining willing slaves in the business world. This time however it hadn't worked out as planned. The head of the building company had freaked when he realized that Crawford's knowledge was too accurate...unnatural...He'd sniffed around and figured out what the buildings he made for them was supposed to function as. The ESP room, the dream lab and the cells in the basement with drains in the floor had particularly caught his interest. He'd cut off the deal and Crawford was annoyed.  
  
" He also informed the whole board about his discoveries," Schuldich continued. *And men confide in their wives.* He sent them all a warning thought of what maybe was to come.  
  
"NO!" One of the men drew his gun.  
  
* Nagi!*  
  
* Got him!*  
  
The gun went flying.  
  
" No more of that!" Schuldich purred. The European woman in her evening gown shivered and made annoyingly loud hysterical sounds. Schuldich caught her gaze and she slowly slid down to the floor, her back against the wall. Rufus' wife he figured. The hostess of the evening.  
  
* You can't breathe,* Schuldich told her. *You can't breathe, you're chocking...you can't breathe..can't breathe...* The woman slumped lifeless to the floor.  
  
The men were still. Finally one of them, an older man, spoke:  
  
"What did you do to her?" He whispered.  
  
Schuldich just smirked at him.  
  
" We will hunt you down..." Nagi said coldly. " We will get every one of you, if not every single piece of paper written on this deal is in Crawford's office by tomorrow night. And I mean: Everyone! If one of you don't abide. You are all dead." Rufus unconscious body flew up in the air. A sickening sound filled the hall when Nagi broke his neck. The body fell down with a crashing sound and one of the men turned around and threw up on the marble. Only inches away from the dead woman's head. Nervous chatter and female screams sounded from the dining room.  
  
" There will be a supper at our place a week from now." Schuldich grinned cheerfully. "I will be there. So will you. Those who doesn't arrive on time will die" - * And I *do* read minds* he informed them. "If any of you have cheated, or told a third party about our pact - you're all dead."  
  
" Crawford will send invitations in the mail." Nagi said calmly.  
  
" Make sure to search all his drawers..." Schuldich motioned to the corpse on the floor. " And yes, " he caught one of the younger men's gaze. " He *did* sleep with your wife...Good night, gentlemen." He bowed lightly and turned to leave. Nagi casually flipped a third gun out of the owner's hand and fell in beside Schuldich. The doors flew open and let them out in the cool night air. As usual they gave each other their smug smile of triumph when they walked down the stairs and Nagi shut the doors behind them. They walked quickly across the gravel while screams and hysterical crying poured out in the night from the house behind them. Continued down to the gate without looking back.  
  
Nagi still looked smug when he took his seat in the car.  
  
* *Did* he sleep with that guy's wife?* He asked Schuldich.  
  
* No idea...* Schuldich smiled and started the engine. He felt the power rush from the event like a big, ripe peach, bursting with juices. Made him happy. Schuldich felt good..." He suspected it...probably true," he smirked.  
  
" You can't help but being cruel, can you?" Nagi's voice held annoyance, and a hint of admiration.  
  
" No..." Schuldich grinned wildly. " It's like sex, " he said. " Once you've had it, you can't get enough," he finished and regretted the metaphor instantly.  
  
Nagi tensed up and the prickling sensations radiating from he boy; the aftermath from his use of the telekinetic powers faded and died. Left a very young boy, filled with colliding emotions.  
  
" We always work well together," he stated.  
  
" We do," Schuldich admitted and focused on the driving. Not looking at the youth beside him.  
  
* Will he shut me out when we get home...will he leave me in that cold, empty void?...will he talk to me at all before the next mission?...God...I don't want to be left out...*  
  
Schuldich wanted to say something but managed to keep his tongue in check. He didn't know what to do. A part of him wanted to go back to normal, treat Nagi as he always had. Another part didn't think it possible...He was sort of confused as well, about how much the boy seemed to miss their mental ties...Schuldich's mental voice.  
  
* You're spoiled,* he said at last.  
  
* What?*  
  
* You can talk with your mouth you know...*  
  
Nagi slumped further down in the seat. A faint red color spread on his cheeks. His gaze fixed on Schuldich's gloved hands on the wheel.  
  
* He *is* going to shut me out again then...I should have known it...there's no excuse for a behavior like mine...*  
  
Schuldich decided not to interfere, but could somehow not bring himself to not listen. Nagi's mind was so well known. Such a good, soothing place to be. Chilly and comforting. The clear, silvery flood of his thoughts a refreshing shower. It had been a while. He felt that. It was good to be back, drifting in Nagi's brain space.  
  
* I love those gloves...those thick leather gloves...wonder how they'd feel on my body...the scent of leather together with his hair...Spice and musk...everything Schuldich...Wonder how they'd feel, touching me - down there...having a gloved finger inside...* The thought was followed by a rather graphic image.  
  
* My god, Nagi!* Schuldich blinked and struggled to keep the car on the road. They were driving through a wooden area, lots of tree trunks to hit.  
  
" Sorry..." The boy was utterly shameful.  
  
Schuldich scratched his forehead under the bandana.  
  
"Why do you think things you don't mean?!" He asked angry.  
  
" Because it's my head and you're never there anymore!" The boy shot back. Pretty angry as well Schuldich noticed.  
  
" Well, being in there tends to send me crashing into the stove..." He growled.  
  
" I've said I'm sorry!"  
  
" No, you haven't!"  
  
" If you'd read my mind you'd know..."  
  
" I don't want to be in you - in any way - anymore!" Schuldich said and knew it was only part true. He didn't want to...he didn't dare to...  
  
* But I want you to!* The boy cried miserably inside him.  
  
* Then why did you throw me off?!*  
  
* I don't know...* Nagi cried in vain.  
  
" What do you want, Nagi?" Schuldich sounded, and felt, tired.  
  
A rush of sensations: Flashing colors, a dizzying kaleidoscope of feelings, good and bad. Most prominent a screaming *need*. Nagi was pale and strained and swallowed hard. Looked like he was going to cry.  
  
* You *need*? * Schuldich asked him.  
  
* Yes,* the engine died.  
  
Schuldich leaned back with a sigh.  
  
" Turn that back on will you..."  
  
" ... "  
  
" Nagi..." Schuldich tapped on the wheel with his index. The boy watched the finger greedily. * Will you please turn the engine back on you horny teen?*  
  
Nagi blinked.  
  
" I...I'm not sure how to," he said confused. " I didn't do it on purpose."  
  
Schuldich did a honesty check in his head and he came out clean.  
  
"Well," he gritted his teeth. " What do we do then?"  
  
" You didn't bring your cell phone?"  
  
"No...besides we had a perfectly good car...no problem at all if you hadn't killed it!"  
  
Nagi looked stubbornly at the dashboard. Schuldich suspected he would cry if he looked away from the black plastic.  
  
" Oh, come here then," he rolled his eyes and unbuckled the seat belts. Both his own and Nagi's.  
  
" W-what?" The boy looked at him with an annoyingly scared expression.  
  
" Come here, " Schuldich motioned to his lap. " I'll take care of it!"  
  
" No way!" The boy went furious.  
  
" Are you going all moral on me now?"  
  
" You just want to get home!"  
  
"Don't you?"  
  
" Yes..."  
  
" Well, come here then..."  
  
" No!"  
  
" Shut up!" Schuldich's patience was long gone. He grabbed the boy's shoulder with one of his very speedy motions and pulled him over. The boy landed in his lap with a startled sound. Without waiting he started to roam his clothed body. Unintentionally savoring the feel of the curves, the lithe, strong body underneath. God, how he had longed for this. He removed one of the gloves with his teeth and proceeded to unbutton the boy's high collared jacket and shirt with his free hand. Slipped his hand inside and felt the warmth. The shape of his nipples.  
  
" Schuldich, please..." The boy whimpered. Schuldich didn't know what he asked for, But as long he wasn't sent crashing anywhere he decided to ignore the plea. His hand shot down to the boy's crotch. A sharp intake of breath on Nagi's part and he got space enough to slip under the waistband. It pulsed hot and moist down there. Pre-cum already trickling from the erect member, smearing over his lower stomach.  
  
* My aren't you needy? Needy indeedy, I would say...*  
  
A sudden, sharp movement with his wrist and the buttons in Nagi's pants sprang open. Gave the moving hand and the weeping cock more space.  
  
Nagi's eyelashes fluttered. The boy gasped and moaned. Struggled to come high enough to bury his face in the crook of Schuldich neck. Breathed hot air on his skin. A damp cave of hair, lips and Nagi...His legs were bent and spread on the passenger seat, shamelessly exposed in the dim light.  
  
" Kiss me Schuldich..." he whispered hotly.  
  
" No," it came out strained.  
  
" Why not?" All the innocence in that question...  
  
Schuldich sighed.  
  
" If it gets us home faster," he muttered. " Give me your mouth then, Nagi."  
  
The boy stretched his neck and tilted his head upwards, offered his lips while writhing in Schuldich's lap. Sighing deeply and rocking his hips in time with Schuldich motions. Looking so tempting right then...so utterly luscious and inviting Schuldich had to struggle not to jerk his own hips upwards, make the boy feel the reaction he created in his body. His own straining arousal that fought against the fabric of his pants. He caught the boy's parted lips and couldn't keep a moan from ripping from his throat when the mint and raspberry flooded the cave of his mouth as well as the vital parts of his brain. He didn't have to wait for Nagi to yield this time. The youth was already soft and ready. Eagerly licking his lips and his tongue. Sucked the tender flesh into his mouth.  
  
* Oh Nagi...when did this happen?*  
  
* What?* The boy's answer came dazed and slurred in his mind.  
  
* ...Nothing...* Schuldich was too occupied with absorbing the lust and the amazing eagerness, to argue. He managed to wriggle the grey fabric over the boy's hips, saw the white underwear and made a half-conscious mental note to buy him something else. Finally he managed to get his gloved hand under the boys ass and began stroking teasingly up and down the crack. Nagi gave a startled yelp, jumped in Schuldich lap. His shivering hands held on to Schuldich's, not to guide him or stop him, he thought, but rather to make sure the hands stayed in place. His breath shivered as well. Soft puffs of air on Schuldich's moist lips.  
  
* Give me the lube, Nagi. You know where it is.*  
  
Dilated eyes looked at him as through a haze, the boy never stopped moaning as he reached out a hand and began struggling to open the big golden buttons of Schuldich's coat. After a couple of seconds he gave up and the buttons sprang open on their own accord. The slender hand reached inside and fished inside his inner pocket for the coconut key to painless penetration.  
  
* So warm...you are so warm...* Nagi murmured inside him.  
  
* Let's focus on you now, shall we?* Schuldich murmured back, somehow unwilling to be included. Give in, completely, to the youth in his arms. Cautious, was the word he decided...Nagi hadn't been exactly stable in the past.  
  
Nagi didn't protest. With hips still rocking he uncapped the lube. Schuldich held out his finger:  
  
* Coat it!*  
  
He was trembling, shaking visibly - but managed the task without making mess.  
  
* Spread them!* Schuldich was slightly trembling with anticipation himself when he gave the boy his order. His other hand steadily continuing milking the boy, slicking him with liquid. The tempting scent of coconut spread in the small car.  
  
" What?" Nagi whispered.  
  
" Spread you cheeks for me, lovely..." Schuldich breathed in his ear. "My hands are kind of occupied." To his utter amusement Nagi obeyed but with a deep red blush in his pale cheeks. The boy was embarrassed, even now!  
  
He did however lift his hips and part his buttocks as he'd been told, let Schuldich's finger play up and down the crack before pushing gently inside the tiny opening. Then he stopped. Nagi lowered himself slowly. A deep heartfelt moan ripped from his chest.  
  
" Oh God!" He cried out.  
  
* No, just me...*  
  
" Schuldich!"  
  
"Yes," he hissed and slowly withdrew his gloved finger. Pushed it back in, stroked Nagi's cock. Held it firmly. Finger in. Finger out. Nagi's muscles convulsed, his cock jerked. He rubbed the prostate carefully.  
  
* I can't...I...* - "Too much!" The boy burst out and Schuldich increased the speed. Pushed the finger deeper, harder. Felt Nagi's body move with him. He held the boy's weight when he reached the peak, held him through the spasms, watched as the thick strands of milky white pumped out of him and draped across Schuldich's fingers and his own clothes. The car engine started with a purring sound.  
  
Schuldich removed his finger and took off the glove. Threw it on the dashboard with it's twin. Nagi slumped against him, his face back pressed against Schuldich's neck.  
  
" Never white," he murmured.  
  
* Forget about that,* Schuldich said annoyed.  
  
Nagi moved slowly off him. Looked disturbingly vulnerable when struggling to get his messy pants back up on the small car seat. Avoided his gaze. Looked pale again. Schuldich shrugged and tried to focus on the drive back home.  
  
* Oh god...what have I done...why did I do it....*  
  
Here we go, Schuldich thought and set up the speed.  
  
" Don't you dare tell me you didn't want it!"  
  
" I don't!" His lips were pale as well. Bloodless, almost white...  
  
" I am not taking responsibility for your fantasies..."  
  
* I *don't* mean everything I think!* The boy was angry inside.  
  
" You stopped the car, Nagi! What was I supposed to do?!"  
  
Silence from the boy.  
  
" See..." - *Grow up a bit will you...you can't blame me every time you want a fuck!*  
  
* Don't give it to me!*  
  
* Like hell I will...Stop blackmailing me into it by messing with my car!*  
  
* I'm sorry!*  
  
" Well, don't be! You're a healthy teenager for fuck's sake, there's nothing wrong with getting screwed from time to time...or on a daily basis for that matter."  
  
Schuldich felt his own erection slowly wither and die. No fun with this boy. No fun at all. Just stupid, messed up, twisted problems.  
  
Nagi's mind knocked on his: *...what should I do...he would want some kind of payment....will he bend me over once we get back?...fuck me?...I owe him don't I?...How did I end up in this situation?...stupid, stupid body....I don't want to get fucked...but he's probably turned on by now...and it's all my fault...but it was nice...it was awful...it was disgusting...it felt great...His hands on me...no! ...I want him to fuck me!...No I don't....Please bend me over! Take what you want!...Maybe I can suck him off, that would do it...be the payment...* Another vivid image flashed through his mind. Dark head buried in Schuldich's crotch. It stirred his flesh, but he wasn't about to give in:  
  
" If you insist, but I don't think it's worth the trouble..." he said, honest enough.  
  
* Don't you want me?* - "You'll leave me alone?" Hurt and relief mingled.  
  
* You're too bloody screwed up, Nagi* - " Go in peace," he sniggered. " My car healthy and well is all I want."  
  
* But why?! - I want you to touch me!* Bottomless disappointment. - "Good," calm statement.  
  
They reached the mansion and drove into the garage. Nagi paused a bit before going out. Watched Schuldich gather his stuff from the dashboard.  
  
" I'm glad you talk to me again." - *Sorry I screwed up! Please don't leave me alone again!*  
  
Schuldich gave him a sideway glance:  
  
" You want me to talk to you - in your head?"  
  
" Yes..." Nagi whispered. Schuldich sighed.  
  
" I can't promise you that," he said. Still very honest. * Your head, pretty one, is a very dangerous place to be...*  
  
He opened the door and got out of the car. Hardly waited for Nagi to do the same thing before he pushed the button and locked the doors, turned and walked into the house, naughty gloves in hand.  
  
*********************  
  
" What happened to Nagi Naoe?" Schuldich asked the same night.  
  
" You mean; what happened to the first Nagi Naoe?" Crawford's calm, dry voice answered from another place in the room. He might look like yet another American business man with his grey suit and neatly kempt hair but standing there in the swirl of burning stars in the space room, he appeared anything but...  
  
"Yes," Schuldich answered, and walked inside. Felt the familiar draft of air close around him, the tingling feel of difference.Change...This was their inner sanctum, it was in all ways in between. A place where they were and were not. Time slowed and could at will cease to be. There was no room for humanity in here, just their own splendid, glorious beings. Everyday petty and work peeled off, left only their powers, their inner kernels. The essence of what they truly were.  
  
No room for lies in here, Schuldich felt limitless. His body was insignificant. He was an endless stream of thoughts and feelings, his mind had no walls He was the mastermind, only, in here: This place...that moved with them, always had. Conjured and created by the elements of Schwartz. He knew it had changed once when Farfarello joined them. Knew it had happened again when Nagi arrived, but he didn't know exactly how. Didn't know what the boy had added to it that hadn't been there before. Maybe it was just the feel of it. - Schwartz's heart. The source... What made them all so unbelievably strong. Stronger than any of them would've been on their own.  
  
Sure, he'd always been able to read minds, been trained to do so - but it was in here, with Crawford's help his powers had finally blossomed. Become everything they could be. And it was in here he'd learned to control them as well. Tied the beast to his will... He had lost his humanity doing so. Everything he'd been, every character trait had become stronger, sharper. His desire to wreck havoc, stir in people's minds, had become a angled, glittering diamond of malice. His feeling of injustice done to him in the past a unbreakable desire to consume. His humor, that had been deeply buried at the time of his arrival had surfaced and bloomed as well, living had become fun again. He was grateful to Schwartz for that. Grateful for this room. This non-existent existence that made it possible to reach down and touch his own being. No hiding allowed. No confusing delusions or disturbing human emotions. No tangled psychology or immature fears... He'd learned to taste feelings. Taste humans. Taste them and feed the beast by doing so. Recognize the flavors and delve in them. He hadn't been Schuldich before he visited this room...  
  
Crawford and him, a bottle of champagne, born again celebration under the bright stars of the space room.  
  
" I love your new name," Crawford had said and given him one of his rare smiles. "It's so unbelievably fitting." They had toasted and sipped the champagne.  
  
Later, with Farfarello. The same ritual. The suicidal teen had become a killer machine. Found a target for all his confused passion. His willingness to destroy.  
  
He'd taken a lot of pain before. Now he felt nothing. Farfarello had broken his glass and stuck the sharp shards to his body. Buried them in insensitive flesh.  
  
" I'm Farfarello," he said. Crawford had smiled again, Schuldich had laughed.  
  
He didn't laugh when the tiny child took the oath:  
  
" I'm Nagi Naoe," the kid had said." But that is more than enough."  
  
" Very well, Nagi," Crawford had said. " Be who you like..." - * He is so young, it doesn't matter...* He'd sent Schuldich while he spoke. Schuldich wasn't so sure anymore...  
  
Now he moved up beside Crawford in that same room and asked him again with his mind:  
  
* Who was Nagi Naoe? What happened to him?*  
  
The American, who wasn't an American at all...not really, anymore...turned and looked at him:  
  
" Does it matter?" he asked.  
  
" Yes." Schuldich observed the burning stars. The way they moved, the pulsing glow." I think it does..." he finished his sentence.  
  
Crawford gave a shrug:  
  
" It was pretty bad, after human standards...but they don't apply to us..."  
  
" He is still searching for revenge..."  
  
" Just because he's young." Crawford interrupted. " He is different now. He is one of us. Soon he'll understand."  
  
Schuldich paused for a while. Just let the peace, the spirit of the room embrace him.  
  
" He doesn't understand." He said at last.  
  
" Sure he does!" Crawford uttered. " He knows he is more than a mere human!"  
  
" Yes, but..."  
  
" But what?" Crawford was defensive and Schuldich knew he was right. Nagi didn't understand, not at all...  
  
" Did you ever explain it to him? The way the worlds works?" He asked calmly.  
  
" Nagi knows about time and space. Knows they are mere illusions. He has no compassion...He knows that we have evolved beyond petty humanity as we know it...that we are children of the future - what do you mean?" Crawford broke off.  
  
Schuldich smirked slightly:  
  
" The boy carries guilt, Crawford...I should know, I am Schuldich after all."  
  
" You must be kidding!" Crawford was honestly upset.  
  
" He keeps telling me...he can never be white..." Schuldich searched Crawford's face for a reaction. The American didn't disappoint. He lost his composure for a moment. Paled... " You never told him, did you," Schuldich continued lowly, " the reason why you chose Schwartz as the name of our group."  
  
Crawford didn't answer at first, he thought calmly for a while.  
  
" Nagi is a bright child," he said at last. " I never thought that he wouldn't figure..."  
  
" Maybe someone should have explained...in words..." Schuldich sighed. " He is ridden by a feeling of being unworthy. Black as in evil."  
  
" Evil doesn't exist!" Crawford spat. " It's just an invention. Like good...white...weiss!"  
  
" Oh, *I* know that," Schuldich said solemnly. " But does Nagi?" he asked.  
  
" Nothing of worth has come without chaos..."  
  
" So there has to be a Schwartz, bringers of confusions and revolutions, I know..."  
  
Crawford turned to him, the light from a dying star caught in his glasses and hid his eyes from Schuldich's view.  
  
" Are you telling me our boy thinks himself some great evil? Evil, as the mortal men defines it?"  
  
" I'm afraid so," - * He never thought Schwartz an irony. He never thought *my* name nothing but the truth. To him, black and white...guilt and innocence are opposite poles, not changing and relative - like time and space...*  
  
" I harvested too early," Crawford mumbled softly.  
  
" Or the boy had too many scars," Schuldich finished his sentence. - * Don't blame yourself, Brad. If you had waited he would've been too damaged, am I right?*  
  
* As always...*  
  
* The benefit of reading minds...*  
  
" Maybe I should have talked to him more about it. But the brilliance. The intelligence - I think it fooled me..." Crawford said out loud.  
  
" It fooled us all," Schuldich answered. * We forgot he was a child, * he continued.  
  
" Children feel strongly..."  
  
" They do." - *Even children like us.*  
  
Crawford sighed. Schuldich patted his shoulder. Suddenly gleeful and happy - on the outside.  
  
" Don't worry, old man. I'm sure Nagi will grow up..."  
  
Crawford gave him a thin smile.  
  
" I feel that you need to spend some time in here," he told Schuldich.  
  
" I sure do," Schuldich replied.  
  
" Do you want to be alone?" The American asked him.  
  
" If you don't mind..." Schuldich was still smiling.  
  
" Take your time," a earnest smile this time. * You are good at looking after you own health, Schuldich. I'm glad to see that.*  
  
* Thank you* Schuldich gave a last reply before Crawford suddenly was by the door, breaking another time/space law and left. Schuldich was alone with the stars. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Let the energy pour inside. Fill him. Rinse him. Like electrified water bursting through him. Hopefully leaving some clarity behind.  
  
**********************  
  
* Nagi...!* The voice was insistent and the boy instantly sat up in his bed, searching the darkness with his gaze.  
  
* Come outside...* it whispered in his mind.  
  
" No!" He burst out.  
  
The pull...the pull...so strong that urge to do as the nice voice bid.  
  
* Schuldich, leave me alone.* He was nervous, tasted of herbs.  
  
* Nagi...* it kept calling. * Come to me, sweet thing...*  
  
The youth swung his feet to the floor and got up.  
  
* Get out of my head!*  
  
* No!*  
  
The boy opened the door to the hall and started walking. Slowly - drawn by a will that was not his own. Dressed in only a thin pair of black pants he started drifting down the corridor.  
  
* Stop it, I want this to stop!* He demanded.  
  
* But it can't,* the voice answered in his head. *It has gone to far...*You* brought it here...*  
  
* I'm sorry!* His mental voice cried while his feet kept walking. One step at the time.  
  
* No good...* Schuldich voice replied instantly, then, more gently: * Why so afraid...Why the taste of panic on your tongue?*  
  
* I'm not scared,* the boy stubbornly exclaimed while moving down the stairs.  
  
* Did you forget who I am?*  
  
* What do you mean?* He shivered slightly in the cold night air. Struggled against his own body. To stop, not move...and failed.  
  
* Did you get more than you bargained for, little boy?* The voice was a slick whisper now, moving like a serpent through his mind.  
  
* You said you would leave me alone...*  
  
* But I can't...*  
  
* Why?*  
  
* Because you taste so sweet,* Schuldich sighed while Nagi turned and entered the dining room, passed the rows of mahogany chairs. Moving like a sleep walker. Unsteady...blind...* What have I gotten myself into, you ask yourself,* Schuldich voice was a merciless whisper. * What you should ask is; what have I got...*  
  
The boy slowly approached the double doors out to the garden. They were open. The night was cold. Nagi's skin formed goosebumps under the heavy, full moon.  
  
* What do you want, Schuldich?* He was afraid now. Schuldich didn't care.  
  
* Someone to worship and adore,* he said and stepped out of the shadows. Stood there in plain sight between the rose trees.  
  
" Nagi," he smiled. His eyes glittered in the dim light. He reached out his arms: "Schu-schu wants to play..." he tempted.  
  
" No!" Nagi came to his senses in the doorway. Embraced his own torso with his arms. Tried to shield off the night, - and the man that stood in front of him.  
  
* Stubborn child. I'm tired of your games!*  
  
He was with him in less than the blink of an eye. Violently pressing him up against the doorframe. His lips were hard when they bruised the boy's:  
  
* You. Belong. With *me*! *  
  
A swirl of red and green and he was gone. Disappeared like in a fairy tale. Left the boy shivering and pale. Sick and dizzy from the violation of his mind. Enflamed by the power of the kiss.  
  
" Schuldich?" He asked the night.  
  
************  
  
He stood upstairs and watched from the window. The lithe body in the middle of the storm. Rose petals, red and white, swirled around the fragile frame. Danced upon the air. Nagi's magic winds...  
  
So beautiful, he though. Beautiful in his own storm. Black hair and porcelain skin. Hooded eyes...he glowed towards him in the dark.  
  
His...he had staked his claim.  
  
V  
  
Schuldich drove all night. Roamed the deserted streets, for no other reason than to breathe. Be away - from the house. All the conflicting emotions there. Needed a break away from Nagi. He had used a lot of energy on bringing him downstairs and outside. But it had been worth it. The boy had to be reminded of who he was dealing with. The time in the space room had thought him that. Renewed his force. His sense of self. No more playing. He wanted him. -And there was no good reason on this planet, in this dimension, why he shouldn't get him...  
  
The arrival back home in the early morning hours brought a surprise however. He entered the darkness of his room and was instantly aware of a breathing sound. He put the wine bottle he'd brought up with him carefully down on the table by the couch and crossed the distance to his bed on silent feet. Heart hammering slightly. It could be only one, and it was: Nagi was sleeping on his bed.  
  
He looked just as he'd pictured him against the red sheets. All curled up, sleeping soundly on the satin. He still wore his black pants, but he looked cold, holding himself in the night. Schuldich looked at him for a while: The peaceful, sleeping form, then he brushed a few unruly strands of hair from his forehead and began to slowly undress himself. Dropped the clothes to the floor. He didn't feel like fighting - just sleep.  
  
He crawled over the little bundle of boy on the big bed and touched his shoulder carefully when he was settled under the covers:  
  
" Nagi..." He said in a low voice and saw the boy blink at him. His eyes weren't surprised but heavy with sleep. " Come to bed." Schuldich said and helped the boy crawl up to the pillows, slip under the covers. He tucked him in gently. Tried not to touch him except for through layers of satin red covers, but Nagi came closer. Curled up next to him, one arm flung over his chest.  
  
Schuldich grinned widely in the darkness. Then he smiled no more, but embraced the youth. Slipped one arm under his head, the other one curled around his cool, naked waist.  
  
" Sweet dreams, Liebling," he breathed and went to sleep as well.  
  
****************  
  
He woke up in a tangle of smooth limbs. Only half of them were his own. Nagi had somehow managed to curl his own legs around Schuldich's during the night. His arms lay around his neck, his fingers tangled in the long hair he loved so much. He'd placed his head half-resting on Schuldich shoulder and his sweet, even breath brushed over the skin of his cheek. He noticed a pale spot of red, an angry outburst of hormones that threatened to break the surface of Nagi's smooth forehead. It reminded him of how young his boy was, and then again - he was not...  
  
Schuldich was still lying on his side, facing the boy with his arms wrapped around him, and his morning erection, he noticed with a start, firmly pressed against Nagi's naked belly. His first thought was to move away, afraid to cause more of that very unpleasant, Nagi-related trouble. But then he decided he didn't care. Not at all, really. Instead of moving away he moved closer. Slid carefully down on the mattress, suddenly curious and playful. It had to be because Nagi was there, he thought. He was a very pleasant thing to wake up with. Nice and smooth and lovely to touch...He angled his hips a bit downwards and began his search. Hissed smilingly when his erection brushed against another one in a similar state, hidden under the soft fabric of Nagi's pants. Slowly he began grinding their arousals together. Slow, careful movements, while he delved in Nagi's warmth. Oh, this was heaven. Heaven, this was bliss!  
  
" Schuldich?!" Of course the kitten had to wake up now -when he was enjoying himself so much...  
  
" Yes," he grunted annoyed, slid his lips over the smooth curve of Nagi's shoulder and received a shuddering response.  
  
" Can you stop for a bit?" It was the 'for a bit', that saved him. Schuldich could live with that.  
  
" Yes," he murmured and moved away, rolled over on his back." What is it?" He asked, his cock was pounding blood-filled and heavily, aching for contact.  
  
" Thanks for letting me stay last night." Nagi said lowly.  
  
" That's ok, I like sleeping with you, " Schuldich grinned. " You're so smooth and you smell nice..." he continued his reflections.  
  
The boy was silent for his while. He wet his lips before he spoke again. Seemed nervous all of a sudden. Insecure:  
  
" Why you, of all people," he said at last. " Why am I so attracted to you?"  
  
Schuldich, who thought it far to early for musings of this nature still took time to ponder the question for a while.  
  
" Maybe..." He said at last, " because you know you can't break me."  
  
The boy fell silent again, then he spoke:  
  
" Maybe, but you can't break me either!" Defensiveness in his voice. Walking the edge between annoyance and offence.  
  
Schuldich chuckled lowly.  
  
" I know," he said. "And that my dear Nagi, is a part of your charm..."  
  
To his utter surprise he came to him then. All soft and hungry kitten. The little pink tongue licked at his lips, lapped at his throat. He brushed, slid and pressed that smooth body of his against him.  
  
* Want you!*  
  
* Yeah...* Schuldich growled and took hold of him, kissed him with a passion. He suddenly had his arms full of Nagi. The boy's length balanced on top his own. Black hair tickled on his neck, full lips graced his mouth and soft, heavy sighs dripped from those lips as the boy made himself comfortable on top of him. Found his cock with his own and resumed Schuldich's slow grinding.  
  
* Why are you naked?*  
  
* It's *my* bed.*  
  
* Sure...I like it,* the youth actually smiled. Passion had slurred his mind now, his gaze was heavy and laden with lust.  
  
* Why aren't *you* naked?* Schuldich asked and met Nagi's downward strokes with his hips. Let the boy ravage his mouth as he wanted. It felt good; felt *really* good...  
  
* Do you want me to be?*  
  
* You know I do!*  
  
Nagi broke off the kiss and sat up to his knees between Schuldich's thighs. He pulled down his pants and pushed them over one knee at the time with an almost shy expression. Shy, and unusually carefree for Nagi Naoe. His erection pointed boldly out in the air from the nest of dark curls. Nagi's fingers brushed through Schuldich's pubic hair, the red-golden, shimmering, almost invisible layer of fine down that started under his navel and spread into a pattern of rich coppery curls around his cock.  
  
" You're red there as well," Nagi said almost in awe.  
  
" Sure am!" Schuldich grinned and enjoyed the sensations when Nagi tentatively touched him. Combed through the unruly curls, stroke his fingers up and down the pulsing length. He gave deep breath and watched the youth play. Watched his penis twitch when Schuldich moaned and moved in the boy's closed palm.  
  
* You like that?*  
  
Schuldich didn't bother answering, thought the straining arousal and the dribbling pre-cum spoke for itself. Nagi's chest rose and fell heavily while he watched his own hand on the other man.  
  
* May I?* He asked and bent forward. Blue eyes looked at him questionably.  
  
" Oh yes!" Schuldich purred with anticipation and hissed softly when the little pink tongue touched him. Lapped gently and carefully at the smooth, sensitive flesh. Schuldich held his breath. Tried to hold back, not give in to the urge and push himself inside the tempting wet cave. He did well, he thought , though he squirmed and ached under the tentative ministrations. But when Nagi at last slid him in to his hot, slick mouth he cried out and lost his restrains the same instant. His fingers curled in Nagi's dark hair and he locked the boy between his thighs and rolled them both over to the side. Kept him in place. Drowned in the feel of the velvety, sucking, the chocolate pudding deliciousness that was Nagi.  
  
Nagi moved his head and Schuldich moved with him. Held on to the dark, silken hair while slowly fucking his mouth. His eyes fell almost shut, strange sounds, guttural and hoarse escaped him while his member moved in and out of Nagi Naoe.  
  
Nagi rubbed himself gently against Schuldich's leg. - Left a trail of liquid white on his skin while massaging his cock with his mouth. Playing with his tongue. Soft lips embraced the shaft firmly, slid up and down the rock hard erection in the slickness of his own saliva.  
  
Finally some reward, Schuldich thought half-conscious. Flying through the air and crashing into the stove didn't seem such a hard price to pay. He increased the power and speed of his thrusting and grinned happily when he realized that Nagi could manage. Cope with the treatment and adjust without problems. Open his throat and take him down.  
  
* My sweet Nagi, you suck like a god!*  
  
* What kind of God would that be?* The boy replied dryly.  
  
* *My* God,* Schuldich purred happily.  
  
* Would *you* do this for *me* ?*  
  
* Sure...* Schuldich smiled on the pillow. Absorbed and consumed with the nice things happening to his body.  
  
* Really?* He became aware of a challenging edge in the boy's mental voice. A metallic taste hidden under the thick layer of raspberry jam.  
  
"Yeah!" He said out loud. " I'd do it..." he continued. - * Just say the words.*  
  
Nagi didn't reply but seemed to relax more. Sucked greedily at the member in his mouth while grinding his own more insistent against Schuldich's calf, curling his legs around his feet. It became too much. Even pleasure has it's limits - and the soft, eager boy...  
  
* Nagi, you have to stop!*  
  
* Why?* The boy's voice was electric.  
  
* I want to fuck you.*  
  
* And?*  
  
* I'm cumming in your mouth in a second.*  
  
*Oh!*  
  
The boy let him go with a loud, wet sound. Looked up at him with swollen lips and dreamy eyes.  
  
" Come here," Schuldich reached out his arms. Filled them with Nagi, butter taste in his mind. He kissed him throughout and tried to calm a bit. Make the blood flow a little slower. But it was hard. Hard with the boy crawling on top of him, grinding and rubbing himself against him. Eager hands and trembling breath. Ready to consume...  
  
He smiled but said nothing when the green coat on the floor came drifting into Nagi's hand. Smiled, but said nothing when Nagi searched for the lube, still without looking, busy kissing Schuldich's mouth. Something frantic appeared in his eyes: Raging lust badly concealed. He opened the lube with his mind. The little cap flew open and coconut scent filled Schuldich's nostrils, the scent of sex. Sex with Nagi.  
  
The boy sat up with a gasp, straddling Schuldich's thighs. He squeezed a good amount of lubricant out in his palm and rose to his knees, reached his hand back and began smearing himself, the tiny, tight entrance, with his fingers. Schuldich watched as if paralyzed. Watched the bobbing cock as well. Couldn't help but touch it. Collect small sighs from the boy when he massaged his arousal with his hand. Squeezed it lightly. Smeared the pre- cum with his thumb.  
  
Nagi touched him as well. Touched him with slick coconut fingers. Coated him in a fine shine of lube, then he moved up. He took hold of Schuldich's cock and positioned himself over the pointing tip, spread his buttocks with one outstretched palm. Schuldich helped him, touched the soft edges of the crack and opened him up, gave a sharp intake of breath when the boy sweating and trembling lowered himself on his member. Pressed himself down on it and sighed deeply when the hard flesh filled him. Then he began moving. Rocking slowly on Schuldich's hips. Built a rhythm as he went. Nagi's own cock wept salty tears, it was so strained and hard now, it hardly moved at all when he did...  
  
The youth steadied himself on Schuldich chest. His fingernails graced the puckered nipples lightly. Nagi's hair was plastered to his forehead and he gasped loudly. Schuldich's hands rested on Nagi's hips but he didn't guide him. This was Nagi's show, and he had no problems admitting he enjoyed every minute of it. It was luxury, was pleasure, was a treat...  
  
He moaned every time Nagi moved down, every time he penetrated the smooth, luscious body. Hissed and ached every time he moved up and he briefly felt the cool air on his skin. Nagi struggled and sighed. His mouth was open and his eyes partly shut. His nipples stood out like ripe berries. His creamy skin covered in slick sweat. He moved faster now...fast and delicious. Steady, rhythmical. Made lovely sounds on top of him. Sounds of pleasure, songs of delight.  
  
* Oh...that's my boy!* Schuldich moaned. * That's my lovely, my sweet Nagi,* he uttered. Not completely conscious that he'd opened his mind. Let the boy inside. * All soft and wanton, aren't you Nagi?*  
  
* With you, I am all that!* Nagi's reply was surprisingly clear and consistent.  
  
Schuldich laughed out loud. It was joy in that laugh, and triumph. His hold on the boy's hips strengthened and he held him in place while quickly slamming into him from below. Nagi's body stiffened and his head fell back while that milky white liquid came pouring out; pumped out of him in long strands that glued to his skin, hit Schuldich stomach, warm and salty. His body bucked and he came as well. Deeply buried in Nagi's hotness. He gave a low scream and slammed Nagi down on him one last time. Held him there while his body spasmed. Delved in the orgasm and the rippling, electric satisfaction in Nagi's mind.  
  
When the waves died out he let the boy go. Slumped down on the mattress and fought to breathe. Nagi still sat on top of him. Unfocused eyes searched his under the dark, damp hair.  
  
* ...What now? ...* his mind murmured. * Should I go?...What now...what does he want me to do?...God that was good...that was amazing....will never forget that...*  
  
" Come here!" Schuldich reached out his arms again. Nagi gave him a surprised look. Surprised and utterly confused. * Let me show you the art of cuddling, my friend....It's not so bad, I'm sure you'll like it...* He was tired of playing with the boy. Tired of his nagging thoughts. All those stupid doubts.  
  
* Then...what?* Nagi's voice sounded clearly in his mind. He never gave up did he? Schuldich sighed inwardly.  
  
" Then we sleep some more," he said. " And then we fuck some more!"  
  
* Really?*  
  
* Really!*  
  
Nagi slid himself off the softening member and slumped down on top of him. Buried his nose in the thick red hair and let himself be embraced. Schuldich fished for the covers and draped them over them both. He kissed Nagi's soft neck and let the peace settle.  
  
* You look lovely in red,* he told him.  
  
********************'  
  
So they became lovers. After that first morning that had stretched out to the night, when Nagi finally left his bed on trembling legs and blushingly smiled when Schuldich laughed. Let himself be hauled into the shower and be spoiled with Schuldich's exclusive, fragrant bath products. Soaked and smeared and flushed in hot water...Schuldich's hands had claimed him then, more than his body had the hour before. Left no spot untouched. No flesh unseen. Then he had towelled him off and kissed him before he let him go. No deals, no promises...no pressure...But the night after Nagi had knocked softly on his door...  
  
Schuldich hadn't seen him all night, but had passed by his room and knew he'd been sleeping. His body sated, his mind finally at rest. He wasn't surprised though, when he came back, pleased, but not surprised. And Nagi had been insecure then, yes - but more confident than earlier. Not truly, really expecting to be turned away. And of course he wasn't...And at last Nagi had admitted what he wanted...  
  
" Can I come in?" He'd asked from the doorway.  
  
" Sure..." Schuldich had stretched on the couch, patted his hand on the fabric. Wine forgotten, so was the cheese. The luscious boy was so much more tempting.  
  
He'd rewarded Nagi's boldness by giving him a blow job, one of the mind shattering kind that made the boy squirm, weep and cry out loud on the leather couch. Spray Schuldich's mouth with white juices, his mind with raspberry waves of pleasure.  
  
* I told you I would do it...*  
  
* ...But did you like it?*  
  
* Of course I did,* Schuldich stretched out beside the boy, kissed his soft cheek and nuzzled his neck with his nose. * You taste like raspberries...*  
  
Nagi had giggled then. It was the first time Schuldich had heard that particular sound from the youth and it pleased him.  
  
It quickly became the rule, rather than the exception that Nagi spent the night. His own white sheets were hardly touched, Schuldich red and green satins regularly stained and crumpled. The maid had busy days cleaning the pile of dirty laundry. Schuldich and Nagi spending hot nights, busy spoiling her work.  
  
Schuldich liked having him there, he fit so easily into his bed. A finely crafted china doll sleeping in his arms. Silken haired, dark angel. Always smooth and warm. And Nagi adored Schuldich. For some reason he thought him the foxiest creature alive. Schuldich delved in those thoughts, when Nagi flew high on the afterglow and showered him with kisses, flooded him with chocolate dipped emotions and glowing thoughts of adoration. Looked at him with admiration in his gaze. That special light. The passion... Did Nagi Naoe *know* he was falling in love?  
  
If it had been lust and curiosity he'd already been gone. Schuldich had satisfied the boy more times that he could count. Given him everything until there was no more secrets to reveal. No more mysterious sexual areas to explore...Did Nagi know he was slowly becoming Schuldich's boyfriend?  
  
Hardly!  
  
Nagi was blissfully oblivious as to how his own behavior had changed. How he instead of knocking, opened the door to Schuldich's room with his mind...Left weird latin books on his table, a pair of pants on a chair. His toothbrush by the sink. Schuldich just...put the toothbrush away with his own. Let the books pile up there and dropped the pants in his laundry basket. Started to bring ice water for Nagi with his own wine from the kitchen. Buy shrimp because Nagi liked that. Cherry flavored lube...  
  
Nagi seemed almost determined not to think about...how their nights together had changed... From being just about the sex to involve other elements like...reading on the couch. Watching movies....Talk...When they had dinner out he never consciously thought it a date. His mind just kept repeating the old segments and words:  
  
* Why is he doing this? ...what does he want...lovely food...I like sleeping with him....Why did he bring me here? Is there some sort of hidden irony I just don't get?...I must be stupid...am I stupid? God he looks sexy in white...* He was hardly aware of his own actions when he slipped his hand into Schuldich's on their way back to the car.  
  
The boy's denial was annoying, and yet curiously amusing. Schuldich wondered how many pairs of silk boxers, how many jars of chocolate covered figs and buckets of bourbon vanilla ice cream he had to buy before the telekinetic got the picture.  
  
And the things Nagi did for Schuldich...He never thought it actions of the heart. He didn't think it anything at all really. He brought him his double espresso in the morning before he went to school without blinking or reflecting. Burned heavy rose incense in bedroom before Schuldich came without consciously considering the fact that Schuldich found the scent amazingly erotic. He wore his silken underwear and rubbed oil blends of cinnamon and cloves on Schuldich's body. His face determined and serious, eyes that consumed every inch of him. He even watched strange, European movies with him. Suffered through hours of Schuldich's in-depth meditations in front of surreal paintings in obscure, alternative galleries. Pretended to not be bored when Schuldich obsessed about his collection of noir photo art and spent almost three hours picking out emeralds for a pin in a jewelry store.  
  
Even the mere fact that they were always together seemed to bounce off the boy's mind in some strange, mysterious way.  
  
Nagi would bring him orchids, Schuldich arched his eyebrow and scanned his mind carefully, always with the same result:  
  
* Wonder what he's wearing tomorrow...It's really nice to be in here...his sheets are much softer than mine...I like the way his cock is pressed against mine the morning...the color of his hair in the sun...Hope he'll be sleeping with me for a while...He seems to like it...Hope he doesn't think I'm in here too often...Wonder what he really wants...why he is doing this to me?* or *...Those chocolate hearts were really good, wonder why he gave them to me instead of eating them himself...maybe he wants me to do something special...Maybe he wants to tie me up or something...or tell me to go away...*  
  
Schuldich battled down the waves of annoyance and bought those darned orange blossoms, left them on the pillow next to the black haired youth and even let Nagi top him once or twice. Thankfully he seemed to prefer to be on bottom.  
  
He let Nagi confide in him. Watched the boy open up and become more talkative, he laughed more often and seemed generally more carefree and happy with the world. He let Schuldich feed him exclusive, expensive meals and gained some weight. His body got that special sway: The relaxed confidence of a man who was well sated sexually and felt good in his own skin. Still his mind refused to see it.  
  
* Oh god, I didn't say something stupid did I? ...Maybe Schuldich wants to watch a movie with me tonight...Hope he does...Hope he doesn't find it weird have dinner with me again, he didn't exactly ask me to come, just sort of...motioned...When did he become so polite? He doesn't seem to want to get rid of me yet...for some reason he still wants to fuck me...Oh God I must be so boring for him...I have so little real experience with sex like this and he is so sexy. I think I can get off just by watching him...I guess I'll sort of miss him when he gets himself a lover...a lot, really...but that's ok...I wonder if I'll cry...He hasn't had a lover in while...*  
  
Schuldich sighed and dropped roses in his lap. Bought diamond studs for his ears and got his own nipples pierced with tiny gold rings because he knew Nagi had fantasized about it.  
  
Ignorance was still bliss and all but Schuldich started to get bored with the boy's determined denial. He sulkingly admitted he needed confirmations, and what a bloody waste it was to shower his rare and precious love on a boy who wasn't even aware what he was given, and didn't find the unconscious slips, the act of oblivion that played out in Nagi's mind amusing anymore. He got edgy...annoyed. It was about time they had the talk.  
  
VI  
  
The talk happened to take place in an Italian restaurant of the very nice kind with white linen napkins and crystal glasses. Nagi was waiting for his salad, Schuldich for his wine.  
  
* Do you see that woman over there? The one with the blue skirt? * Schuldich's face didn't show any sign of the silent communication.  
  
* Yes...*  
  
* She's convinced there's an angel in the room. She thinks she can *feel* it...*  
  
* No?! That's pretty stupid.*  
  
* Yes, Religion.drugs for the stupid....*  
  
* Worse. Insanity. There's nothing logic about it -*  
  
They smiled to each other almost invisible over the table. Locked their gazed in silent understanding. Cold contempt towards the woman.  
  
* Should I whisper something....*  
  
* Like?*  
  
* God is dead?*  
  
* No...just let her believe in her lies. Why bother...*  
  
* You're right. Always so level headed, aren't you, Nagi?*  
  
The boy smiled slightly.  
  
* And you,* he said teasingly. * You're a devil...*  
  
Schuldich lowered his head, looked at his lovers through a veil of soft red hair.  
  
* You love it,* he purred.  
  
* Of course,* the boy was still calm. Still with that secretive, serene smile. He folded his napkin and looked utterly innocent while the air under their table suddenly formed invisible fingers that brushed Schuldich's inner thigh. Caressed his crotch lightly through the fabric of his tight, black pants.  
  
* Oh but kitten!* Schuldich smiled seductively in Nagi's mind. * You are hungry!* He laughed.  
  
Nagi didn't reply but the first button in Schuldich's pants sprang open and the tendrils of air slipped in under the fabric, curled around his growing erection and caressed it gently. Tongues of hot air slicked his torso and pinched the nipples, played and tugged at their new golden toys.  
  
* I want him to want me...* Nagi's mind murmured * I want him to wish to take me here and now, be inside me...Yes...Oh, that would be nice...fill me up with all of him...*  
  
* Ah...* Schuldich sighed. * Feels real good. But I prefer your real hands though...*  
  
* Why?* The crystal clear voice replied. * Don't you like it?* A pang of disappointment and insecurity made the fingers under Schuldich's clothes tremble a bit and loose their rhythm.  
  
* Of course I do!* Schuldich interrupted the boys foolish thoughts. * But there's nothing like the feel of your hands on my body...your caress on my skin.* he took his chances.  
  
* Why?* Nagi asked again. Blinked unfocused and not at all understanding.  
  
* Well, you know, * Schuldich began. * It's a bit more personal...* He said deliberately casual.  
  
Nagi's invisible fingers ceased their erotic teasing and disappeared. The boy looked down, took the salad from the waiter and tried to avoid Schuldich's gaze with his own. He lifted a piece of lettuce to his mouth.  
  
* ...When did personal become an issue between us?* He asked at last.  
  
Schuldich sipped his wine and looked at the boy in front of him:  
  
* With you Nagi Naoe, personal has always been an issue...*  
  
The boy's hand trembled slightly. Schuldich dived into his mind:  
  
* What does he mean? Am I getting too personal? I knew I would sooner or later...Blow it...It's over now...he'll tell me it's over...This is our last night together...He is bored now...*  
  
* Stupid boy! I read minds, as you may have noticed....*  
  
* What?*  
  
Schuldich felt anger rise inside. Boil hot and red - The kid was simply too stupid!  
  
* Well, don't you think our relationship has evolved and sort of become just that? _ Personal?!* he struggled hard to keep his mental voice calm, soft even, when he asked.  
  
* Maybe...* Nagi picked in his food. Eyes glued to the table cloth, egg- shell colored damask with a woven pattern of lilies. A violinist started playing in the background. The candlelight turned to rainbows in the crystal, cascading into fluttering, ethereal colors. * But I didn't mean to be such a pain...* - "I'm sorry about that." He said out loud.  
  
Schuldich threw his napkin on the table with a impatient movement.  
  
" What do you want , Nagi? " He asked and knew faintly at some level that he was repeating himself from months earlier. The night Nagi Naoe had first come to his room.  
  
* What do *I* want?* The boy was sincerely surprised.  
  
* I have showered you with gifts, time, physical attention...* Schuldich began.  
  
* I'm sorry!* Nagi cried mentally. " I'll give it all back," he whispered.  
  
" So you're not intending to keep it?" Had the boy been somehow playing him all along?  
  
" No!" Nagi burst out. - *Not when you don't want me too!* He added. *It's just that i really liked those gifts...* He thought with regret. And then, with bitter tasting, salty pain: * God, I'm losing it all!*  
  
* What are you losing, Nagi Naoe?!*  
  
The boy looked up at him confused, even his mind went blank before it suddenly got crowded with dozens of unfocused thoughts...  
  
* You...-not you...-sex... -my life...company...being with him .-Fun... sex...company...nice...care...belonging... - Schuldich!...warm nights...empty bed...Traitor... Traitor... *Traitor*!* The boy screamed and swallowed hard, then -without warning he rose from his chair and ran for the doors. The wine glasses on the tables popped like grapes under a stiletto heel as he went. The heavy red drapes in the windows hollowed in a invisible wind and the violin lost it's strings one by one.  
  
Schuldich sighed and rubbed his forehead. Ignored the general confusion, the cries from the ladies with wine stained dresses and threw a couple of bills on the table before moving after Nagi boy. Running, not walking. He was in a hurry this time, walking was too slow.  
  
He found him in an alley. Shivering violently. Tears on his pale cheeks. Droplets of lost passions, a liquid of regret.  
  
" Don't *look* at me!" He screamed when he saw Schuldich. A strong wind tried to cut him off, made his red hair blow around his head. But not even Nagi Naoe's will could stop the power of thought from reaching it's goal. He slammed his hand down on Nagi's shoulder, pushed him to the bricked wall and kissed him. Didn't know what to say. No words seemed right anyway. Just stop him...that was his only thought...To stop him from hurting in that moment...So he kissed him. Grind their hips together out of old habit. Nagi tasted familiar and warm. But his flavor seemed faint. Not minty at all.  
  
* So you think me some sort of hooker you can toss and pick up as you find convenient?!* Nagi oozed with over-ripe oranges and strong liquor.  
  
Schuldich looked at him surprised. The boy was panting, face pale and angry but there was passion in his gaze as well. An answering rocking of his hips. The flesh in there was erect and firm.  
  
* Are you?!* Schuldich grinned and bit his neck lightly. It was pure instinct, he couldn't help it. The boy's body was so in conflict with his mind. Of course he shouldn't have. He knew it the second the words had slipped his mind and he was still thinking it when he was thrown down on the hard sidewalk. Ripped from Nagi Naoe's body, the most precious he had known, by the boy's invisible powers.  
  
" Damn you for doing this to me!" Nagi cried.  
  
" Doing what?!" Schuldich cried back.  
  
* Making me feel like this!* The boy wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.  
  
Schuldich sprang from the ground in less than the blink of an eye and embraced him again. Licked the salt from his skin. Touched his lips with his own, pressed him up against the wall again. Damn if the boy was allowed to go before he'd calmed down enough to talk!  
  
Nagi answered his body in all ways possible. Kissed him back hungrily. Tasted his tongue with his own and even spread his legs a bit. Let Schuldich in between them. He moaned a little. Pressed his hips to Schuldich's.  
  
But his mind, his mind...The buzzing backdrop of Nagi's' mind:  
  
* ...Why am I letting him do this to me?...Oh I'm so stupid! Such a piece of trash...worthless whore...He is making me want it...Why is he doing it...? I'm nothing...better just let him have it, what pride do I have to lose anyway? ...I should be grateful he wants to have me like that...One last time...Fucking the trash...my body is a willing whore...*  
  
Schuldich broke of the kiss and flew backwards, deliberately this time. He wiped his mouth with his palm then he picked up a loose brick from the ground and threw it with inhuman force in the wall only inches from Nagi's head. Dust rose and a crack appeared in the wall.  
  
" Damn you, Nagi Naoe! " He screamed in a fury and mirrored the statement with his mind. Flung it into the boy who stood frozen on the spot. Saw him flinch by the force of it. " Go to hell you worthless brat!" He whispered hoarsely and left the alley. Left his heart behind.  
  
******************  
  
So, the spell was broken. The glass tower shattered and ruined. Nagi sat in the garden. A small silhouette embracing his knees. It was dark. The shine of green from the vegetation almost invisible. No petals spiraled in the air tonight.  
  
Schuldich watched him from the window, had been doing so for almost an hour. Just stood there; legs spread, arms crossed, just watching him with narrowed eyes. A hand on his shoulder made him turn around. He wasn't attacked in the Schwartz house so he wasn't jumpy. Knew who it was, who it had to be, already.  
  
" Crawford..."  
  
* You wont have him. Stop obsessing about him.*  
  
Schuldich gave an arrogant smirk:  
  
* Oh, but I have indeed had him...* He stated.  
  
* I know...but not like that...* Crawford said calmly.  
  
* Like what?!* Schuldich dared him.  
  
" Like a lover," Crawford said. " You'll never get him to admit it..." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Looked tired all of a sudden.  
  
Schuldich swallowed hard and watched the boy in the garden again.  
  
" Why?" He asked at last. " Did they take out his heart and leave a mess?" His voice was a bit thicker than usual.  
  
" Nagi Naoe was an abused child..." Crawford began.  
  
* I know that!* Schuldich interrupted. - " Now tell me what I *don't*..." he insisted impatient. He'd had his share for tonight...  
  
Crawford sighed deeply:  
  
" I found him in a shelter for abandoned kids. He was partly taken care of by a humanitarian organization...they were supposed to provide food, health care, education if the kids were willing...things like that. Instead they pimped the children out...And Nagi...Nagi was feared among the customers as well as the children and the staff. But what you fear you hit, right? - I swear I've never seen a more bruised and battered body..."  
  
Schuldich shrugged. " But if they feared him?" He asked.  
  
" It was the eyes!" Crawford said. " To make sure he earned money they spread a rumor his blue eyes were health bringing...like a good luck charm. The weird things happening around him: The moving furniture and spinning beds just increased the customers belief in his so-called powers. He was very popular," he continued. "Especially among older, dying men...Scared men...afraid of death...beating him unconscious if they had to - to make sure they got what they wanted from him...A taste of the life-giving magic he was said to possess. -The gift of the blue-eyed child."  
  
Schuldich felt himself tremble.  
  
" That's how I found him. " Crawford's voice continued. " I had a vision of a blue-eyed boy....I don't think...I'm not sure Schuldich, but I don't think Nagi Naoe can give you what you want...He was never raised to feel love ."  
  
Suddenly a flash of something. A feeling of guilt. Something he didn't like in Crawford's mind.  
  
"And the pimps?" He asked hoarsely. " Those who run that organization? Where are they resting now?"  
  
********************  
  
It was early dawn when Schuldich burst into Farfarello's cell. The madman looked at him with his amber eye. Fought his restrains with obvious pleasure.  
  
It had been a long night in Schuldich's life...He didn't watch Nagi anymore after speaking to Brad, he'd locked himself up in his room instead, just pondering the problems. Smelled the scent of Nagi on his sheets, brushed his hand over his pile of forgotten clothes...Greys and white...Black boxers...  
  
He had mourned the loss, missed him... But he was not going through that whole thing all over again. Schuldich was not one for making the same mistake twice. Never did. Never had. The boy was, according to Crawford, ruined. Maybe he couldn't feel strongly at all, anymore. And even if he did it would always be shrouded and confused. As things were he didn't even know how to talk to him again. He couldn't kiss it all better, he'd probably just make things worse. The tiny figure in the garden had looked so pale, so slumped and lost. Every instinct in Schuldich's body told him to be utterly careful in this. Nagi's fragility and his own temper would not mix well right now. But the boy was aching, hurting...and so was Schuldich...It was all very, *very* bad!  
  
The new day seemed to clear his head somewhat though. When the sun rose, Schuldich had made a decision. When he flung the door to Farfarello's quarters open at the crack of dawn it was with a wide grin and flashing eyes. He declared bold and loudly:  
  
" Farfarello old boy, I'm going to be a hero! -And *you* are going to help me!"  
  
While leaning against the red car in the garage, waiting for Farfarello to appear, he was approached by Crawford again. The American looked neat and composed as always. Not a wrinkle in his grey suit, even his fingernails were evenly cut and polished to perfection. He held a note in his hand.  
  
" Here," he said and gave the note to Schuldich. " This is where you'll find them..."  
  
Schuldich took the note from Crawford's hand. Scanned it swiftly with his eyes.  
  
" Well, thank you Brad...I assume I have the goodness of your heart to thank for this sudden helpfulness?" He smirked ironically. Brad chuckled softly.  
  
" ...Let's just say that Schwartz as a whole will benefit from these...misunderstandings between you being solved..."  
  
" How come?" Schuldich arched his eyebrow.  
  
" Well - I've noticed certain changes in the way the two of you work together," Crawford smoothed the fabric of his jacket. Adjusted his glasses while speaking. "It's always been good," he stated, "but after this...affair began it's been brilliant...You don't even have to talk anymore, do you?"  
  
" Not while working, no..."  
  
Crawford gave something close to a happy smile:  
  
" That's what I thought," he grinned. *Twice as many targets in half the time,* he said calmly. Satisfied.  
  
* Yeah, we're a killing machine* Schuldich gave a thin smile back.  
  
Farfarello entered the garage then. His one eye focused and glowing. He had his tool chest in his hand. All dressed in black he looked like a heathen god of death...and maybe the comparison wasn't that inaccurate. Farfarello just nodded to Brad and seated himself in the passenger seat of the car. Calm now. Calm and patient. Schu-schu had promised fun, Farfarello could wait for fun.  
  
Crawford turned to leave and Schuldich went for the car. Then the American suddenly paused:  
  
* I must tell you though,* he told Schuldich. * You might not be able to keep him.*  
  
Schuldich turned his head to look at the grey-clad back;  
  
* What do you mean?*  
  
* He'll always be drawn to purity...And Shreient might still be alive...*  
  
Schuldich tasted the information for a while.  
  
" I'll take my chances," he said at last.* He needs me, you know...*  
  
Crawford smiled slightly:  
  
* I know,* he said and entered the house.  
  
***************  
  
Road trip with Farfarello, nothing like it, Schuldich thought and turned up the volume. Where he and Nagi was ice-cold effectivity, he and the Irishman were a riot. Nagi was smooth pleasure. Farfarello passionate hatred and a hell of a lot of fun!  
  
Currently the pale maniac was scanning their environments with his one amber eye open and alert. His scarred fingers lay still in his lap. Resting...preparing...  
  
* Hope you're up for some red feasting,* Schuldich smiled. Felt the bass from the cd-player pound through his body. Make his blood flow faster.  
  
* Sure,* a thin smile from Farfarello. * But these aren't ordinary targets,* he pointed out. * You mind sharing exactly why I'm cutting them open?*  
  
* Not at all...- they've done very bad things to Nagi...*  
  
Farfarello smiled again. * Revenge then...an act of vengeance...but will it please God?*  
  
Schuldich focused on the road but took time to send some annoyance in Farfarello's direction.  
  
" If you want me to continue to make God weep tears of shame on a daily basis over the things I do to the kid, you better not get caught up in the morals..." he warned.  
  
" You mean...because you fuck him..?" The Irishman said calmly.  
  
" Yeah..."- * and some other stuff as well* he grinned wickedly.* Nagi can be a very naughty boy...*  
  
" Sodomy...fellatio...anallingus" Farfarello counted up dryly. * It's all good, but wouldn't it please God to see the child molesters die?* - "He isn't the Nagi they knew, anymore...He has evolved like us, become more than human."  
  
" Well..." Schuldich tried to reason; " a happy Nagi is a deadly Nagi, you know that...You saw it on our last mission."  
  
"Yes..." Farfarello treated him a rare glance of admiration. " The two of you caused a lot of deaths. Made the angels' wings drip with innocent blood...God's heavenly halls fill with screams of terror..."  
  
" See!" Schuldich interrupted his musings. * Helping me fuck Nagi is merely assuring that the boy will continue on this most unheavenly path.* He added.  
  
Farfarello looked dreamingly out in the air for a minute.  
  
" Your sin makes him hurt God more. And better." He said at last.  
  
* That's right!* Schuldich took a left turn and rested back in the seat. " Besides, Farfarello...Nagi is Schwartz...We should teach the bugs not to mess with what's above them," he tried to keep his voice calm and Crawford- like.  
  
"Yes..." Farfarello spoke in a low hiss. - * Let the sodomy continue!* He screamed and the glow in his eye increased. His muscles became tight and alert.  
  
" That's right, Farfarello," Schuldich said laconic.- * Let me just fuck the boy for devil's sake...* he added tired.  
  
*****************  
  
The shelter had probably gone through some changes since Nagi Naoe's day because the building in front of them looked pretty new; a big, modern centre in glass and stone. Donated by, the sign in front of the porch said. Donated by businessmen with guilty consciousness or scary mail Schuldich thought and didn't even bother to read the names listed there.  
  
*You sure they're still working here?* Farfarello walked silently beside him on the flag stones, the tool chest in his hand.  
  
* Brad hardly does anything half-way, does he? If he says this is it, then they are here, don't you think?*  
  
* Sure,* Farfarello looked calm but his mouth twitched lightly. Signs of anticipation, excitement...Schuldich knew him well enough he didn't have to enter his mind to read him. * Do you think they're still...being naughty to the children?* He asked when they passed through the sliding doors and into the lobby  
  
* I don't know...honestly don't care...* Schuldich took a left turn and approached the receptionist, a smiling young man, while unfolding Brad's note.  
  
" Where are these people?" He said and showed him the list of five names in Crawford's even handwriting.  
  
" Do you have an appointment?" The nice man smiled and smoothed his tie nervously.  
  
" No...but never mind," Schuldich sighed lightly. - * He showed me where they are,* he told Farfarello and fooled the receptionist's vision enough that he didn't see exactly where they went.  
  
They walked up the stairs to the main office. Schuldich could feel the tension building in Farfarello.  
  
* Where are the kids?* He asked Schuldich.  
  
* Don't know...it's a big house...*  
  
* Nagi was here...?*  
  
* That he was..*  
  
* Looks nice enough.*  
  
* Yes, doesn't have to be though.*  
  
* No...* Farfarello's steps fell in with his down the corridor. * And when we find them, what do you want?*  
  
* Throats!*  
  
* Ripped or cut?*  
  
* Doesn't matter as long as they're whole.*  
  
* You want to show them to Nagi?*  
  
* Sure do.* Schuldich smiled. He felt rather knightly, trotting down the corridor with the angry beast in tow to restore the fair prince's honor.  
  
He knocked lightly on the wooden door in front of them and received a grunt from the other side.  
  
" Afternoon, " Schuldich flashed a smile to the thin, old man behind the desk." Are you in charge of these facilities?" He asked polite.  
  
"Yes," the growled and rose from the black, ornamented desk. " Who are you? From the press?" A nervous twitch by his left eye.  
  
" Not exactly..." Schuldich still smiled and kicked the door shut behind them.  
  
" Then what?!" The man asked angrily.  
  
Schuldich locked his gaze in the old, dry man's. Found a couple of piercing needles between wrinkles and greying skin.  
  
" Wouldn't mind a piece of the blue-eyed child's medicine now, would you - old man?" He said lowly.  
  
" What?!" The man paled. " I don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
But of course he did. A black haired child, bleeding and abused appeared on his internal screen. The little body lay naked on a bed, finally knocked out after hours of struggle on their part against flying plates and chop sticks.  
  
* Bingo!* Schuldich told Farfarello who slowly lowered his chest to the floor.  
  
" You see..." Schuldich told the man. " The blue-eyed child is now my kitten d'amour and I really don't like people being mean to him. Not now...or ever!"  
  
" I still don't know what you're talking about..." The man's voice faltered a little.  
  
" Shut up!" Schuldich told him and fished his gun from his pocket faster than the man could think. - *Farfarello?*  
  
* I'm ready!*  
  
" You're paying for what you did now, bug!" Schuldich snarled and pointed the gun at the man's chest. Felt his fear like thick smog in the air. He was trembling, pale and sweating.  
  
" No..." He breathed. " No...- We don't do those things anymore!"  
  
Shculdich ignored the plea " Did you ever have him? " He asked and kept pointing the gun, kept the man's attention from Farfarello's silent preparations.  
  
" No!" the man shook his head and sent him vivid images of a very small Nagi bound with leather straps to a small bed with yellow stained white sheets.  
  
"Liar!" Schuldich sniggered and lowered the gun. - *He's all yours,* he told Farfarello. The old man let out his breath, - a sigh of relief when the gun disappeared. The next moment his expensive carpet was sprayed with blood from his stomach. Farfie was playing with his knives.  
  
Schuldich watched silently. Farfarello was good at his work. He might lack Nagi's nifty effects, like blinking lights and slamming doors, but he sure was good with red. Hardly a drop of blood hit his own clothes when he quickly carved his way to the man's heart and cut it in two halves. He held the pieces out to Schuldich:  
  
"Sure you don't want it?"  
  
Schuldich took a look at the blood drenched pieces of muscle.  
  
" No...let's go for the throat."  
  
Farfarello ripped it from the carcass. - A small bundle of skin, tendons, cords and veins and tossed it to Schuldich who caught it in the air.  
  
* Thank you, Beautiful,* he bowed mockingly at Farfarello who smiled his thin, pale smile back at him.  
  
* We're all done in here.* He said. " Bad man is dead," he said with a rare hint of humor and kicked the body lightly in the exposed, bloody ribs.  
  
They hadn't even left the room when target number two crossed their path, headed for the dead man's office. Schuldich recognized him from the receptionists visuals: A bit younger than the other one and with a full grey beard.  
  
* Hairy throat, * He sent Farfarello and locked his arms around the fat man's torso. The man tried to speak but Farfarello's fist made him stop. Schuldich swung him inside the office and threw him to the floor.  
  
" What is this?!" The man demanded to know in a high-pitched voice.  
  
" A lover's quest," Schuldich smiled in his face while his fingers found the throat and crushed it -The man would speak no more...Writhing with pain the man struggled for air on the floor. Eyes wide with shock and fear.  
  
* Do you remember Nagi Naoe?* Schuldich voice fluttered in his mind and was rewarded with new waves of fear. Strong fear, old fear...* That's right...you *should* fear him...* Shculdich's Italian shoe hit him in his stomach and the man tried to cry out, blood streaming from his mouth. Farfarello hovered above him, scalpel and scissors in hand.  
  
* All yours...* Schuldich told him and watched the treetops sway in the light breeze outside the office windows.  
  
Farfarello dropped the piece of flesh in his palm when they left the red drenched room.  
  
They had to search for number three. It was a woman, busy filling pencils and pens in ceramic jars in a store room. Schuldich stabbed them through her eyes after learning from her mind she was the one who'd come up with the story of the miracle child. She screamed into Farfarello's palm while Schuldich soothing voice whispered in her head:  
  
*So much pain from a pair of pretty eyes.Love hurts, Sweetheart.* He let Farfarello cut her gut, stepped aside to avoid the blood. * *My* love hurts!* He finished his sentence. Another piece of bloody doll landed in his hand.  
  
Number four, the accountant, was easier to find. He was sitting in the shelter's garden outside his office windows reading a newspaper. Schuldich stood behind him and dangled the throats in front of his eyes.  
  
" Surprise..." He whispered. " You're about to die..."  
  
He never had time to react, before Farfarello was there with his knives.  
  
The fifth target, another grey-haired woman, was changing linens on metal beds. Almost like the ones in certain hospitals. They didn't remain white for long...Schuldich took his time with this one though. She'd been a lingering shadow in the other's minds. The one responsible for breaking the kids. Using threats and abuse, - small, dark closets, to break their wills into mush. - So with Nagi's. His name brought fear and disgust to her eyes:  
  
" But he left with an American," she argued. " He bought him out...Good price we got for him as well."  
  
" I bet," Schuldich snarled. " The boy became too much for you in the end, didn't he? He wasn't easy to keep I can imagine..."  
  
Images of the broken child, invisible hands throwing chairs and knives...A younger version of the fat dead guy with an electrical staff trying to reach his battered body. The customer in the background, his whining plea : "I can pay, I promise...I'll pay anything just to touch him..." His yellowing eyes searching for Nagi in the fury of flying sheets. * Glad to get rid of him...* The woman's mind murmured. * Devil's own...unnatural...frightening...*  
  
" Nagi isn't frightening..." Schuldich smiled prettily. "Farfarello is..."  
  
On their way home from the shelter Farfarello suddenly threw his head back and laughed out loud:  
  
" I almost feel like Weiss...Restoring justice..." He howled.  
  
" Yes," Shculdich chuckled with him, then he took the bundle of throats from the dashboard and measured it. " But I doubt they take souvenirs," he smiled.  
  
************  
  
Nagi paled when he saw Schuldich in the doorway. He sat on his bed with his legs crossed. A book in front of him. A half eaten grape on a plate. He wore a white cotton t-shirt and creamy white pants. His toes curled nicely on the covers. Schuldich loved those toes. Perfect toes...perfect boy. And he *did* look smashing in white.  
  
" I'm glad to see you're safe and sound inside," Schuldich told him. "Sitting outside in the cold all night isn't good for you."  
  
" Why do *you* care?" Nagi was all defensiveness and shields.  
  
Schuldich entered the room. Without further ado he threw the bundle of throats down in the open book. Smeared the pages with red. He'd tied a red ribbon to them as well. It was a gift after all...  
  
" Happy birthday, kitten..." he said.  
  
Nagi lifted the bloody present from his book and looked at it.  
  
" It's not my birthday," he replied calmly.  
  
" Now it is." Schuldich smiled.  
  
" Who...?" Nagi stared at the throats half-curious, half-confused.  
  
Schuldich lay his hand on Nagi's forehead and let him see. Nagi's body jerked and shivered every time a new familiar face appeared on his mental screen. Schuldich felt cold sweat in his palm.  
  
When he'd been shown he was trembling. His breathing came heavy and uneven.  
  
* You killed them?* The boy was reluctant to believe.  
  
* Me and Farfarello,* Schuldich crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against Nagi's desk. Measured him with a neutral expression. Watched him lift the bundle again, look at it with flaring nostrils. Then he smiled. - And a wave of jubilant triumph flooded his mind.  
  
" Thank you!" He said heartfelt. - * But why...? Why are you doing this for me?* The throats ended up in the book again. * What do you want in return?* At last a real, coherent question from the kid Schuldich thought and gave one of his smirks.  
  
* Why do you *think* I did it, Nagi?* he asked from his position by the desk.  
  
* I don't know...Maybe to sleep with me, but you already do...did...that...so...*  
  
* So?*  
  
* Maybe you're trying to buy yourself a minion...?*  
  
Schuldich laughed.  
  
* Please Nagi, do I need a minion?*  
  
* Well, you know you can sleep with me every time you want...so...*  
  
* So you really can't think of any other reason?* Schuldich was disappointed.  
  
*...No... If not...*  
  
* If not?*  
  
" I don't know..." Nagi looked miserable. Pale and lost on the bed. He played with the bloody meat with his fingers.  
  
* They've paid their debt to you now.* Schuldich stated and watched Nagi's play. - " I know it must've bothered you that they were alive."  
  
" And I couldn't face them myself," Nagi sounded sad. " Most of all it bothered me to be so weak..."  
  
" Not weak." Schuldich interrupted. - *You were a child.*  
  
* But not anymore,* Nagi said. His emotions flooded towards self-loathing again.  
  
" Well," Schuldich interrupted again, didn't want the boy to go there. Not now. Not tonight. "They're dead now. Taken care of, don't give them another thought..."  
  
Still a voice in Nagi's mind kept nagging: * ...How can I want someone after *that*?...How can I lust...give myself so shamelessly?...Maybe they were right after all...Just a whore...just that...*  
  
Schuldich moved across the floor and jumped on the bed with another act of unnatural speed. Draped himself on the covers, facing Nagi.  
  
" No!" He said. " It's called hormones and we all have them, " he explained with glittering eyes. * And you've become such a beautiful man, Nagi...I'm grateful that you have them. * The last one was a slip, nevertheless a true one... He wanted him so badly to *see*... It almost hurt how much he wanted it. Wanted him...- for him to cross over...  
  
"What do you want, Nagi?"  
  
Nagi looked at him with huge, moist eyes.  
  
* Why are you doing this?* He replied, almost desperate. He looked at the bundle and felt grateful, looked at Schuldich and became suspicious and confused. Looked at the throats again, felt relief and happiness. Looked at Schuldich and felt happy then too.  
  
* I never let you go...last night...* Schuldich said slowly.  
  
* No?*  
  
* No...*  
  
"Then why?"  
  
* Maybe I wanted more...*  
  
* More? But...!...if we were two...and he was mine...* Clarity braking through the fog. Sunshine through the thick, thick clouds.  
  
"Hmmm..." Schuldich smiled lightly. * My prince is kneeling...*  
  
Nagi arched his eye brows sarcastically:  
  
* Your? Prince?*  
  
" Mine!" Schuldich grinned.  
  
A pang of pleasure and one of fear spread and mingled in Nagi Naoe:  
  
* ...He'd keep me and have me and kill me slowly! Consume me! His fire...Lick every inch of me, everything I am like a hungry cat from my empty carcass...Burn me to ashes...His fire! - His fire!...He'd possess and keep and own my most sacred...my heart...*  
  
" You bet I will," Schuldich said seriously and locked his gaze in Nagi's. Saw fear there, like rings spreading on deep, blue water.  
  
"Why?" Nagi said breathlessly.  
  
* Because you need me,* Schuldich grinned happily * You'll never find another Schuldich!* Then he became serious: " But I would hold you too, Nagi. Keep you close...away from harm...You'd be my whore, " he said and arched his brow, let his finger trail Nagi's calf lightly, " but you like that," he continued half-teasing.  
  
" Like I can't protect myself!" Nagi's voice trembled with emotions.  
  
* I never said that was the payment.*  
  
" Payment for what?"  
  
* For being mine...*  
  
" What is the payment then?" Nagi's mind was a shimmering veil. A dizzying landscape, bitter herbs and sweet, ripe berries.  
  
* Me!* Schuldich lifted Nagi's bloodstained hand. Not much blood, just a few spots, - and kissed it.  
  
" But...I already *have* you... if you like to..." - *fuck.*  
  
Schuldich took a deep breath. Realized in the same instant how much he could've spared them both if he'd just dared this particular move before.  
  
* Not like that,* he whispered. " You would have my love..."  
  
And it felt like white then. In Nagi's mind: Electric purity, a static lightning, a feathery brush, a touch of *something*. There were waves in the blinding pools of creation. A crackling sensation - a something that rose from emptiness to embrace the sky. It was white and it was whole and smelled of soul and life itself. Ripping free. Made darkness flee. Sucked Schuldich in and made him lose himself in it for a moment. Lose himself in the power of Nagi...  
  
" Heavens," he breathed when he came to his senses, his head had landed in Nagi's lap.  
  
" Sweetness," he continued. " I think you maybe love me too!"  
  
****************  
  
Epilogue:  
  
Earlier:  
  
Crawford walked out of the grey factory with his jacket flung over his shoulder. It was a warm day. Too hot for pale Americans...and European boys as well.  
  
" He made a mess, " he told Schuldich. " But it's a good mess, " he continued. * He did his job, no doubt about that...*  
  
* He killed him?* The young , lean youth on the other side of the car asked.  
  
* Throughout!* Crawford smiled.  
  
" So where is he?" Schuldich brushed his long, red hair back over his shoulder. He should buy something, he thought, a bandana or something to keep it out of the way...Because he wasn't cutting it - no way! No matter what Brad-daddy said.  
  
" Still in there, " Crawford's smiled disappeared. " He is having some sort of emotional... I don't know...He is new!" He excused their newest achievement.  
  
* Want me to go get him?* Schuldich sighed inwardly. Sometimes Brad was just not very useful...  
  
* Sure!* Crawford couldn't keep the relief completely out of his mental voice.  
  
Schuldich shrugged, tossed the car-keys to the American and strolled inside. Couldn't help but react to the scent of blood, arch his eyebrows at the sight in there: The kneeling little boy and the bloody bones and scattered face that was smeared all over the floor and walls. He paused and chuckled lowly in the big, empty room:  
  
* Oh my, haven't you made a mess, kid...?*  
  
" Go away!" Such an angry, little voice. -*Oh no, oh no...don't leave me alone...!*  
  
Something stung in Schuldich. There was something so fragile in that plea... He chuckled nervously and wet his lips. he felt the boy, tasted him . Probed inside the lithe frame, behind those blood smeared cheeks. Felt his fear - and hunger:  
  
* You taste lovely, little boy...all messed up and scared. Yes, you're a impressive creature indeed* He said honestly. The taste was so sweet and bitter all at once.  
  
* I killed him...* The kid stated.  
  
* Sure did!* True enough...  
  
The boy lifted his hand, turned it at gazed at the palm.  
  
" It tells your future you know,* Schuldich told him. *And it's all red!* He hadn't meant for it to sound like a prediction. He had just wanted to distract the boy. And it *was* red...- His palm...all red...But he heard it too, when he said it.  
  
* Shut up!* The boy's panic increased if anything, didn't go away at all.  
  
Schuldich got impatient. A little bit annoyed. He was to be a trained killer after all, why not just stick to the truth?  
  
* Why...when you're so good at it...* he said. * Painting your hands red...* he added. It was all true, wasn't it?  
  
* ...no...* A muttering reply.  
  
* But don't you like it?! * Schuldich tried again. *You have it in you...Crawford is pleased, although it's sort of messy. Next time you'll do a cleaner job.* Encouragement would do the deed, right? He was so little...so very small against the red, red wall.  
  
*..I don't want to...* Nagi Naoe replied in a sad voice. Beautiful voice - from the face of an angel.  
  
Silence. Even the air froze around them.  
  
* But it's too late now!* Shculdich felt himself mourn the fact. The boy just looked too...messed up...too weak in the pool of blood. *You'll never be clean again.* He thought at him. * It can't be undone, never be white!* For they were both Schwartz now. They couldn't toss that aside.  
  
*...White?* Blue eyes looked up at him from the floor.  
  
*...Tainted and stained, black holes in your soul...the sin will fasten, fester... -* Schuldich thought to himself and startled slightly when he realized the boy had heard him.  
  
* Why are you saying this?!* Nagi asked with the burned and sugary taste of despair. *Tormenting me!* He added. The serious, young face searched his.  
  
* Because I like you, kid. That's why...* And he did. Did enough to let down his shields and let the boy have a peek inside without even noticing. He sincerely hoped Crawford would never hear about that.  
  
He crossed the distance between them and lifted the other child in his arms. Nagi didn't resist him. Didn't move at all actually, just closed his eyes...Schuldich knew he was listening to his heartbeat.  
  
When they approached the exit he looked down at the boy in his arms. Saw the fine bone structure, the pale, soft skin against the green of his coat and caught himself swallowing hard by the sight.  
  
A sudden urge to lift him to the sky and cry out loud: " See, here's your lamb, now make him clean again!" But he didn't, and he wouldn't...because nobody would be there to answer him anyway... They were alone. They were Schwartz...meant to serve their higher purpose. But at least they were together, he thought and looked down at the serene face again. Nagi was young, but Schuldich could take care of him. It was two of them there in the blood reeking factory, - together in murder, together in black. - Could never be white. But they *were*.  
  
The End 


End file.
